Horoscopes | Weeks of December 16, 2013-January 5, 2014

ARIES (March 21-April 19): A general feistiness just comes with the territory whenever you're around, Aries… and the weeks ahead only amplify the magnitude of any waves your feisty behavior is liable to stir, thanks to a confluence of unstable astro-circumstances impacting everyone, but hitting your solar chart especially hard. While I'd assume many of the people with whom you'll be sharing holidaytime celebrations aren't entirely unaccustomed to your sharp, straightforward self-possession, that doesn't mean they're always in a mood to indulge it without remark or pushback. And considering that planetary poker-and-prodder Mars is in your house of head-to-head interpersonal relations (the 7th) and moving in to oppose Uranus-in-your-1st (exact on Christmas Day), the mood is likelier to be combative (or at least charged-up) than permissively peaceful. We mustn't forget to also include Pluto's antagonistic role, forming dual squares from your 10th which indicate a deeper and more extended battle for authority that simultaneously informs the vibe in the air. Could your intensity be flaring up because you're in the midst of flipping the script in a long-disempowering family dynamic and/or ascending to new heights in your worldly position, making it harder than ever to bite your tongue when you're being manipulated, spoken down to, or otherwise disrespected? Venus is turning retrograde in your 10th as well (on Dec 21), to spend six weeks showing you encouraging alternate-universe glimpses of other ways you could satisfyingly claim your power and/or attain worldly success—and in response to those potentially favorable shifts, it probably serves you to be more calculating, then, with any actions that might negatively affect your longer-term outlook if you're too reckless. Yes, you are of course still free to behave as feistily as you want; rather, it's 'want' itself that's more complex than a single moment's impulse can capture. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): During this season of cocktail-loosened lips and obligatory encounters with colleagues and family-members who may not share your same outlook on certain issues-of-the-day, you might want to beware of getting yourself too deep into ideological debates about politics, religion, and/or the meaning of life. Because our next-few-weeks' astro-forecast is full of stormy unpredictability, Taurus, you never know what bizarre outgrowth of some strained exchange (which you might've assumed was merely an innocent batting-about of contrasting ideas, even while you remained pretty damn confident that you were in the right) could manifest… something potentially so far out of left field and/or seemingly irrelevant to the topic-at-hand, you couldn't have seen it coming. But maybe it wasn't so unrelated, particularly if you weren't entirely privy to the manner in which some certain angle of your belief-system violently collides with a sensitive aspect, attitude or experience in somebody else's makeup—until, that is, the whole thing blows. Which brings us to the news of Venus's retrograde, commencing on Dec 21 in your 9th house (where we establish and expand upon our guiding life-principles, through exposure to unfamiliar and/or foreign influences) and lasting through the end of January: This is a signal to reexamine your broad-view reflections about rights vs. wrongs, meaningful values vs. insignificant bullshit, by voluntarily opening your mind to alternative perspectives. This Venus retrograde is especially appropriate with Pluto also in your 9th (plus squaring Uranus and Mars and opposing Jupiter), a longer-term call to dig deeper into your philosophic blind-spots, so as to temper any unconscious fundamentalist streaks that, if unchecked, could rouse the very sort of surprisingly intense reactions I'm warning against… maybe even leading to problematic consequences with a lasting impact on your everyday life. Better to learn though respectable conversation than in response to disruptive developments. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Though there's no denying the astrology during this turn-of-the-year is majorly confronting and potentially destabilizing, your outlook, Gemini, seems to suggest you may finally be turning a momentous corner, in terms of your relationship to whatever encumbering weight-of-a-circumstance hung menacingly above your head for that certain dark chunk of your life. Whether you rose out of its heavier depths a while ago or are only just now beginning to emerge from the shadow, the extended presence of Venus in your 8th—and her six-week retrograde, which begins on Dec 21—bespeak of your now coming interpretively at these life-deepening events from a newly favorable angle, affording you more useful access to the psychological strength you accordingly cultivated when times were tougher. Though the painful back-story won't fade magically away into nothingness, you've arrived at a place where you can draw positives from it, too. During these few weeks, then, you'll be readier to unreservedly and unapologetically partake of whatever behaviors fill you with giddiness and glee (because, as you've learned, life is too short to postpone your own pleasure indefinitely)… whereas, in prior cases, you likely would've held yourself back in some manner, in order to keep certain other characters comfortably unflustered. Of course, those characters are as likely as ever to indeed become flustered by any out-of-the-ordinary 'actings-out' (as they might label it)—but hopefully you give way less of a fuck about that now, in light of all that's happened, though that's different than not giving a fuck at all. See, now you're ready to shift the power dynamics in such relationships… including (or maybe especially) pushing back against the old 'family pressure' routine. You're better equipped to engage the extended conversations about manipulation or strings or shame or whatever, without caving in on your precious desires. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

CANCER (June 21-July 22): With volatile astrology scrambling up these next few weeks, nearly everything seems to be in flux in your world, Cancer, if not all around… not the least of which is your interpersonal sector, where Venus is just now going retrograde (in your solar 7th) and threatening to flood your relationship life with new prospects, old lovers, and/or previously under-examined considerations that suddenly demand much greater attention. This Venus-retrograde business could result in some pretty strange and/or unexpected attractions or rekindlings, the manifestation of which will help stimulate further reflections on what (and/or who) really does it for you in a relationship situation—and what may merely be a habit-leftover from who you used to be, in obvious need of an update. Plus, due to the holiday season being what it is, you can also count on the usual familial pressures, headaches, guilt-trips, and/or power-struggles to stir up the expected inner-turmoil of anger, self-doubt, eagerness-to-please and/or general emotional ambivalence. And, to top it all off, there remains an ongoing uncertainty to your current career spot and/or whatever else you're doing out there in the world… which is definitely not a bad thing in itself, but makes it that much more precarious a topic since your less-sure footing leaves you especially susceptible to feeling triggered by others' nervous questionings, judgmental remarks, and/or skeptical attitudes. This perfect-storm collision of astro-factors could sound like a total mess waiting to explode, except for one key feature I haven't yet mentioned: good king Jupiter's bountiful presence in your sign. Even in light of all this potential for chaotic unfolding everywhere, you, my dear Cancer, are in the most favorable position. So please let that fact embolden you to refuse to take anyone else's shit, and to let 'em hear your opinion on it… to actually enjoy the process of sorting appropriate from less-appropriate relationship prospects, based on your criteria rather than whether you fit theirs… and to gallantly show how you're going to make 2014 your bitch. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

LEO (July 23-August 22): Your dawning optimism is a most precious asset, Leo… and just as you would with a big-ol' wad of cash or some fancy new electronic gadget, it's not altogether prudent to walk down the street flashing its sumptuous features to all who pass by, since (at least where I'm from) such reckless displays often tempt scoundrels into trying to steal it away from you. As we covered last week, there's no guarantee that those you talk to about what's excitedly germinating in the back-alleys of your creative mind are going to nurture your still-fledgling kernel of enthusiasm—and lord knows you needn't risk their destructive (whether intentional or not) influence. Of course, we're now in the heart of that season when social expectation situates us in the line-of-fire of others' interested (and/or quietly judgy?) inquiries into 'what we're up to', as we fill in our competitive friends and nosy family-members on our latest updates. Let me suggest, then, you exercise both (1) impeccable discretion, in terms of how much you share about future aspirations not yet actualized, and (2) artful conversational finesse, keeping everything flowing all around you yet without letting it linger on any potentially self-revelatory topic you might have to 'answer to'. At the same time, even you yourself won't likely be able to enjoy that private luxury of looking enthusiastically ahead to greener pastures because, here and now, are emerging opportunities to immediately improve the measures by which you get your day-to-day shit handled… redirecting your attention away from future-minded imaginings, and back to tangible items which may now be accomplished with greater efficiency and ease than ever and/or to minor lifestyle tweaks which will directly lead to you physically feeling healthy. Holding your vision for tomorrow firmly in tow, you'd might as well make today better, too. Plus, staying so logistically busy gives you a realistic excuse for opting out of any annoying exchanges. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Having tried to be as considerate and well-behaved as you could over the recent months (to a more-or-less successful degree), you enter this final stretch of 2013 giving significantly less of a crap about whether what's going to work for you is going to make anybody else happy. All those efforts (taken willingly out of a sense of forward-thinking shrewdness or rather begrudgingly) have led you this point, Virgo: It's time to put whatever will please you right smack on the front burner, for all the curious eyes to see (and either approve of or not, no matter), with every other compromising consideration coming second to that. Now, am I operating under some fantasy that such conspicuous acts of self-gratification on your part won't stir up some shit, likely rousing a raucous response from those who feel you're 'switching up the deal' (which you probably are in a certain sense, especially if you've more recently pandered to their preferences)? Hell, no. The astrology of these weeks is rocky as all get-out. And for you, part of the rockiness will revolve around the startling discovery that perhaps you aren't quite sure which particular options will please you the most… not to mention, there may also be a growing disconnect between (1) what your pure self-expressive side thirsts for and (2) what your practical self-securing side needs in order to feel safe. In fact, Venus's retrograde in your 5th (starting Dec 21 and lasting through the end of January) points to a reevaluation of personal affections, based on the delightful emergence of other attractive options for enjoyable activities and/or activity-companions. So, asking and re-asking yourself what you like best is a questioning process with timely pertinence. But just so we're clear, this is not some mental exercise you put yourself through in relative seclusion: The only way to really come to a convincing answer is through externalized trial-and-error, and all those wild responses (good and/or bad) you receive from others in the process. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Things have been turning somewhat wacky and surreal in Libra-land as of late, in case you haven't yet noticed—and the coming weeks' astrological developments only promise more wackiness to come. You're situated at the center of this growing controversy (or if we'd prefer to use a different word: excitement), largely thanks to the soon-to-be-familiar presence of spirited Mars in your sign (he'll be there until July, please remember), which infuses you with a zippy blast of physical energy and a fiercer impulse to assert yourself in any-and-every context. With Mars firing you up, you're way likelier to grab for what you want, with less self-restraint… and equally likely to push other people's buttons (in an antagonizing or arousing fashion, whether intentionally or not), to not care that you've pushed their buttons, and to not stop pushing their buttons until you're good-and-ready. And to add fuel to the flames, that Mars you're brandishing will directly oppose Uranus-in-your-7th (exact on Christmas Day), inciting further interpersonal volatility, although this time (as opposed to similar past instances) you may be the outward instigator. Mars also squares Pluto, longtime occupant of your 4th, the house that rules not only our interior emotional landscape and the domestic space where we tend to it, but also our family-of-origin… and the place where your ruling lass Venus will turn retrograde (on Dec 21) through the end of January, suggesting potential shifts in your attitude toward relationships with family-members and/or housemates. Perhaps you will finally be inspired to overturn the underlying power dynamics, claim the reins on behalf of your emotional self-determination, and take a stand for yourself? (This time of year typically presents golden opportunities for just such a thing.) There's an undeniably explosive undertone to your astro-outlook, based on these converging factors. Considering that, you might as well take matters into your own hands, Mars-style, and stir this surreal stewpot to your best liking, letting the chips fall wherever you knock 'em. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): The seemingly unavoidable unsteadiness on the earthly plane—shifting job responsibilities, unanticipated health concerns, unreliable tools, urgent cleanup work, a sudden need to explore alternative methodologies—may well enkindle even more of a desire to just ditch it all, with the desperate guzzling of enough after-hours cocktails to make you forget what's aggravating you or some self-deluding pretending-act that temporarily alleviates your distress. At its potential worst, Scorpio, you might turn full-on unsteady yourself… and, if left to your own devices to contend with quick chaotic changes that muss up your well-oiled routine, lose your cool to the point where you do something irreversibly life-altering (such as spontaneously walk off the job, viciously lash out at someone in anger, or make a rash move that threatens your physical safety). But that worst-case scenario should be easily avoided if you simply deploy your secret weapon: the calming influence of talking out your frustrations with other people. While I don't want to underemphasize the basic relief in simply venting to a sympathetic ear, using this secret-weapon can achieve more than this. Not only will initiating such conversations force you to slow down whatever trigger-finger instincts might otherwise lead to a regrettable action, but your pals and peers could likely have amazing suggestions for approaches you haven't yet hit upon… and/or they may volunteer to actually help out by swapping duties, referring you to the proper specialist, or donating a few hours of their labor to the cause. Plus, just opening yourself up to social interaction (which means the other party will probably also have issues to raise or steam to blow off) will remind you that your aggravating circumstance needn't overwhelm your perspective on everything because, all the while, other stuff is happening, too. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): My top priority in writing your end-of-year horoscope, Sagittarius, is to direct your attention to Venus's six-week retrograde period just now beginning (on Dec 21). While much of Venus's retrograde press will surely focus on her reign over all things love-and-romance-oriented, she also rules our relationship to money… and considering her retrograde falls in your house of money-earned-of-your-own-independent efforts (the 2nd), this is the side of her personality I'd like you to concentrate on. Listen up: When Venus is retrograde, it's said we aren't as clear on the value of things and, therefore, there's a traditional caution against making any large purchases or significant financial decisions (because, once Venus goes direct again, we come to realize we paid too much and/or didn't really want what we thought we did). Ergo, consider and reconsider. However, since we are all under this effect, it's equally as possible the seller/offerer is undervaluing their proposition—and if you are shrewd enough to recognize this, you can snag amazing deals at a steal. These money issues only become more significant in light of the fact that Pluto's long been poking away in the same 2nd house (for five years already!) and, in the weeks ahead, takes part in some seriously unstable astrology by crossing Mars, Jupiter and Uranus, all in discord with each other. Jupiter-in-the-8th also has a financial facet to it, indicating a favorable potential in joining economic forces with another person or entity (i.e., partnerships, investments, inheritances, loans). Such enmeshments always come with risk, especially when Venus is retrograde… though there's no reason you couldn't flirt with a promising negotiation that isn't finalized until later. The Mars-Uranus factor ups the likelihood of some type of unrest in your social-circle, possibly as an outgrowth of your daring to pursue your own self-interests so brazenly (because toes are being stepped on?). Don't let that enflame a hasty show of pride on your part, just to shut 'em down. Think long-range, self-securing, lucrative-potential strategy. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): After having fairly considered some reader feedback I received about recent horoscopes being 'dark, sardonic and beating up Capricorns' (a subjective sort of critique I get all the time, though, in this case, I felt it warranted a reflective pause), I wanted to be sure you all understood where my latest advice has been coming from: (1) Because you are one month into hosting Venus for a four-month stay in your sign, you're sort of working with an advantage nobody else has. (2) And because you're also hosting long-term-occupier Pluto, that imposes on you an ongoing responsibility to wield your power honorably, with altruistic grace and conscience, so as not to needlessly invite others' unconscious envy or competitiveness. Combine Venus with Pluto, and you've got some seriously attractive mojo flooding your energy-field… though such a potency has been known to stir some seriously weird responses from people. (3) Furthermore, you've now got heavy-duty planetary action in your other three most important solar houses (the 4th, the 7th, and the 10th) too, which means you're being hit by spotlighting attention across multiple key areas of life… including a potentially rebellious independence streak on the emotional, familial and/or domestic front (Uranus in the 4th), lots of promising expansiveness in the relationship realm (Jupiter in the 7th), and an assertive, if not potentially aggressive in some folks' eyes, go-getter attitude in professional and/or public-world contexts (Mars in Libra). That's a lot to juggle, none of it is casual, and I sincerely want you to pull off this balancing act with panache. Of course, as of Dec 21, Venus will be retrograde in your sign. As a result, expect some rascally surprises to arise from this 'attractive mojo' you're playing with. Who and/or what is the real prize? In the process of the multiple beneficial possibilities shaking themselves out, it's best to leave your options as open as you can. You probably still don't quite know what you're working with. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): It's a strongly 12th-house end-of-the-year for you, Aquarius, which deems you something of a half-lucid, half-reactive participant within whatever runaway proceedings will keep these few weeks ahead anything but boring… and suggests that most of the action you have much agency to command is likely occurring in a subtle behind-the-scenes fashion, with 'nothing much to see here' serving as its official outward face. Apart from dutifully going on record with your sincerest ideological beliefs any time a discussion veers into territory that evidently calls for an ethical stand (and doing so with as fairly-worded and widely-applicable an explanation as you can concoct), you don't really have many other extroversive obligations to meet. That is, other than holding off any urge to pointlessly insinuate yourself into the precarious interpersonal dealings of certain drama-queen souls, particularly at this height of disruptive astrological happenings. People will say and do the darnedest things this season. It's your job simply to watch them provoke each other—and to notice how the loyalties shift, the factions dissolve and/or reform, as one character after another blurts out shocking statements that could rattle the respective relationships—only chiming in to calmly correct a fact or affirm your philosophic affiliation. As a result of what transpires between now and the end of January, these wider social circumstances will almost surely change in ways that directly impact your relative position amongst the various players… but without you actually having much direct say in exactly how that plays out. Later on, you'll have your chance to outwardly respond by taking a few steps closer to, or farther away from, the folks you favor. Let them do all their moving-around first. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.

 

PISCES (February 19-March 20): Though life promises to be pretty inescapably messy and confusing as a natural facet of the season's erratic astrology, Pisces, the confusion part will only intensify in direct proportion to how dramatically you limit your social exchanges beyond that one messy relationship situation. You and the other riled-up party could easily go back and forth (and back and forth and back and forth) for months, literally, and not make much headway in resolving the choppiness—in large part because one and/or the other of you is of two minds, ambivalent, and/or fears asserting an unambiguous desire—as long as it's just the two of you caught in a hamster-wheel feedback loop of the same sentiments, though repeated with increasing incredulity that the other person still doesn't get it (or, more precisely, agree). That's why I strongly encourage you to stay in regular contact with all your other friends, and to be quite forthright with them about whatever messy confusion has you all bothered: Their perspectives, which should include a nice array of various opinions if you're indeed reaching out to enough folks, will help you compose a clearer picture of both the ways you're being treated unreasonably and those in which you're being the unreasonable one. Obviously, the final judgment call on such matters is yours to make. But along the path to making that call, you'll learn a lot from these social contacts about how your psychological quirks are perceived from the outside… and perhaps even more, based upon the tone and content of who says what, about which friends really understand you and which do not. Some may surprise you with their solidarity, an indication that you've perhaps undervalued the potential for further friendship there; others may disappoint you with their judgment, in which case another type of friendship evolution may be ahead. Please note: This horoscope is good for three weeks. I finished up ASTROBARRY'S 2014, my e-book with year-ahead forecasts for all twelve signs, and I thought I might squeeze in a smidgeon of holidaytime vacation while I'm at it. Your next round of fresh horoscopes will be posted on January 6, 2014.