Horoscopes | Week of May 26-June 1, 2008

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The jumping-off point from last week's horoscope that I want to begin with is the idea of getting up and walking away, should you find that some shit-stirrer or drama-queen wants to drag you into their shit or drama. The moment you begin to sense traces of a ridiculously irrelevant power struggle brewing, that's your cue to move it along. And why stay put, Aries? With all the people and possibilities out there, there's no real need to overstay your welcome in any one place—particularly if it's just not very friendly. Perpetual social motion is one of your best pals this week, to be sure. Now, the only exception to this guiding premise arises when you have actual business to conduct with a certain individual, whether job-related or some other chore or duty that requires you to remain in a situation past what your immediate-gratification ego may want. That is, you probably shouldn't 'get up and walk away' from the loan officer at the bank, just because she's pulling a momentary power trip on you, if you really need her to give you the money. And you might not want to 'move it along', if you're doing detail-oriented work with someone… or if you're needing somebody's professional advice, specialized treatment, or authorizing signature at the bottom of some required paperwork. Go back to the second sentence, and you'll notice I've qualified the conditions of which power struggles you may ignore with the descriptor 'ridiculously irrelevant'. It's on you, my dear, to make that call.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What's wisest for your practical well-being may not, in fact, be what your ego's first reaction tells you it is… a strange reversal, to be sure, of the typical practical-mindedness we've come to expect from you, Taurus. That's not to say you won't also know what that wisest choice is—only that it will sit in your head alongside the 'phantom wisdom', making it seem like you have two equally good choices in front of you (or, worse, that the impractical one is the most practical and vice versa). Confused yet? This is my point exactly. Despite your usual super-reliability, you're prone to falling victim to an uncharacteristic inability to decipher between your various options… which, in turn, could cause you to overlook simple tasks that you never forget. Items like signing the check, putting a stamp on the envelope, bringing your ID to the airport, or other such obviousnesses are generally such second-nature to you that they're apt to slip your mind. Therefore, the best advice to offer is simple (not to mention, a rather generic Mercury-retrograde truism): Confirm everything twice. Three times, if you have to. What in any other circumstance might verve on obsessive-compulsive practices ('did I turn the stove off? better drive home and check again') actually serve you well for this week. Double-check that important deadlines are being met, bills paid, and loose end tied up. This is merely a case of heightened possibility that little crap will get delayed or messed up, yet ultimately made okay again… and thankfully, it's temporary


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here's your summary/recap: The Sun and Venus are both in your sign, as is Mercury, who will be retrograde starting on Monday (May 26) and continuing for 3½ weeks. And so the chances that your mind will feel scrambled, fried, poached and/or hard-boiled due to the many many thoughts that'll cross and re-cross it, the constant seeings of both sides, the possibilities entertained or discarded, and the stories told, retold and rescinded… those chances are, yes, high. But except for the manic feeling of 'too much is just too much' that may befall the more sensitive among you (and incidentally, the best cure is to get out of your head and into your body with some rigorous exercise), this shouldn't cause you too much trouble. This hyper-flexible-and-variable (some might even say 'unstable') environment, though likely to fuck with so many of your comrades and colleagues, is actually one in which you thrive. Thanks to Venus, a giggle and a wink should carry you through any incidents in which you find 'oops!' leaving your mouth more than any other word. No so-called 'goof-ups' are apt to cause you much lasting trouble—as long as you shrug 'em off and keep on smiling. Charm your way through, knowing you can clean up the dropped balls and misspoken fragments later, when you get back around to 'em.


CANCER (June 21-July 22): You can play host to a wide variety of powerful awarenesses and acknowledgements… if, that is, you can get out of your own way enough to simply receive the transmissions without attaching your own judgments, interpretations and emotional yearnings to 'em. Put another way: Your intuition is at one of those all-time-high moments… but as long as you are significantly invested in a particular outcome, your conscious brain is likely to mangle the bits and pieces of wisdom into misappropriated inklings that hint only at what you're most nervous about. If you hope to actually use what's slated to come through, try emptying your mind of all its expectations—and simply listen. (This will work better in relation to people and experiences that you have little-to-no personal interest in. So practice your psychic listening skills on the lady at the supermarket, the personalities on TV shows you rarely watch, or any ol' stranger parked on a bench or walking down the street.) Pay extra-close attention to any noteworthy coincidences ('I was just talking about Miami yesterday, and now you call to tell me you're moving there?'), as well as dreams, fantasies, visions or creative sparks that wander into your mind this week. They hold valuable information about what you may secretly crave… though you may need more time to decode the messages. If you can't seem to get out of your own way when it comes to the 'making sense of it all' part, then don't bother trying—just record these observations and refer back to them later, when they're likely to become clearer.


LEO (July 23-August 22): Rely on the kindness of those who seem to really get where you're coming from (whether your true love, a longtime friend or a stranger in line at the drugstore)… so they may help you navigate the treacherous responses you might receive from those who have no fucking clue what you're talking about. You could require their assistance as translators, mediators, substitute spokespeople, or ambassadors of goodwill. Especially in group settings, where the increased number of interpersonal energies bouncing off each other is liable to add static to all the signals, you need a good 'right-hand man' or two—preferably someone rather different than you in general temperament—to stand by your side, shielding or otherwise diverting the adversarial projections coming at you. At the same time, don't hold any grudges, Leo, if, in this current situation, you are misunderstood by folks you thought were on your side. Likewise, be equally forgiving of those pals who make public statements you don't like at all. In both cases (that is, both sides of the same coin), it's possible that what came out wasn't intended the way it sounded. Maybe one or the both of you didn't know any better, and needs the other to delicately point out why it was upsetting. But should it not get worked out immediately, please hold a forgiving heart… and try not to fixate on the details of a few sloppily chosen words.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): The trick is to be in the right place at the right time, but not to say the wrong thing to the wrong people. (Remember our recent lesson about what's wrong with 'wrong'?) But the funny thing about this 'trick', Virgo, is to trust you will be in that place and this is that time—no matter where you happen to be, or when. Yes, there's a weird fated quality (a loaded word, I know) to the situations you find yourself in this week. You're there, right now, for a reason. Yet, where 'fate' turns to 'free will' is in how you respond. And with your ruler Mercury going retrograde in your out-in-the-world-for-all-to-see 10th house, I'll tell you this: Stick to the path of least risk. As you can guess, the threat of misunderstandings is way up… making your surest bet to say as little as possible, especially if there's a controversial ring to it. When directly asked for your opinion, give the most diplomatic answer possible—as long as it's true. That last bit about 'truth' is an important postscript to this advice, since therein lies a sneakier risk you might miss if you followed the rest of this horoscope to the letter without this addition. While, generally speaking, keeping your words to a minimum is your likeliest mode for reducing risk, that method becomes extremely risky if your silence can be read as tacit agreement with something you don't actually agree with. Strange, eh? It may seem riskier to buck the consensus opinion by speaking out, but just think about what might happen further down the road, should they believe you feel one way when, in fact, you feel the opposite…


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Your key to channeling upbeat excitement (as opposed to, say, dread or cynicism) comes from holding tight to those terribly tiny and barely discernable glimpses of your next big thing. If entertained correctly, these are but sketches… silhouettes of a future not yet set in stone and wonderfully responsive to your conscious intent, should you maintain awareness of your power to co-create. That said, Libra, it's très important to realize this power—especially insofar as the words and concepts that impulsively slip through your lips this week, with Mercury flipping to retrograde in your philosophic-visionary 9th, can actually foment the very reality you've touched upon into actual being. When hopelessly optimistic sentiments (even downright idealistic or 'woo-woo' ones) spontaneously arrive in your mouth, you should allow them to emerge uncensored… without worrying about how silly or fruity they make you sound/look. Letting your inner image-manager stop the magic-making due to concerns over appearance would be a sad statement on how much other people's opinions matter in relation to your own dreaming process. But be careful when handling delicate specifics not yet finalized or secrets not yet revealed, particularly if certain close associates are as intricately involved in them as you. Scenarios in this context are more peculiarly prone to anxieties inadvertently inserting themselves into the equation, due to their nearer relationship to actual reality. Those chickens, though they sure seem to be pecking and clucking, have not yet hatched. Don't speak out prematurely on items that are close to manifestation but not quite there. Instead, grab onto a strain of purer imagination and start impulsively shooting from there.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): As the emotional roots of how you really feel about that person, issue or experience come pouring out your soul, you may be challenged to avoid saying the very thing that'd hit a certain someone—whether or not they're actually personally embroiled in the root circumstance—right where it counts. That would be Mercury retrograde messing with your ass, Scorpio. But this is only really a concern if you're hoping to sidestep a potential brouhaha… and often, you Scorps prefer to court the scandalous complications rather than turn the other cheek and pretend nothing significant has happened. Besides, the profound healing potential within all of us often cannot rise to the conscious surface until or unless somebody pokes us in the tender spot, at which point the unresolved chunks gurgle up from the pit like yesterday's midnight snack interacting with this morning's crippling hangover. When we're feeling sick, doesn't it come as something of a relief to puke it up… perhaps not in the moment when our guts are convulsing, but later, once the churning sludge has been ejected and our innards are cleaned up? Maybe that's why, this time around, I'm not urging you to keep your mouth shut, though Mercury's retrograde and you're liable to utter more than perhaps you meant to. As long as you're not maliciously hurting someone, it's probably best to tell 'em exactly what you think… and if you say too much, you can fix it later.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): The relative success or lack thereof (better than 'failure', eh?) of your week is largely dependent on your engagements with one or more of your 'partners' (read the word as you will)… and how well you're able to navigate the retrograde station of Mercury in your relationship house (the 7th), as well as a similar such event with Neptune in your house of casual communications (the 3rd). But despite all that jazz, it's still a wonderful period for sharing 'togetherness' time. (Tender and romantic? Creatively productive and fulfilling? A new level of mutual understanding?) The catch is that you must be sure not to get caught up in the specific words this other individual is using—the glaring differences in your respective styles of rhetoric or syntax (or, for that matter, the heightened chance that one or both of you will flub up and let misstatements accidentally sneak out) are enough to hit you way funny. Please remember, Sagittarius, that words are just words. They rarely encapsulate the full breadth of what's really going on between two people… and in fact, more often than not, reduce something that's magical and mighty into a meager replica. So before you jump on one another for some poorly phrased remark that hardly does justice to the reality of your tight bond, step back for a second and just look. Everything you need to know about each other is written in your eyes (or, for you more mystical types, all over your energy fields).


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): You mustn't let yourself get frazzled by the notion of retracing your steps, since that seems to be the message that retrograding Mercury in your solar 6th has in store for you, Capricorn. Aggravation? Feh. Leave it at the doorstep, and save the unnecessary ranting-and-raving headaches you'll give yourself by refusing to accept that what has to be done has to be done. Certainly, this could involve repeating, redoing or revising some of your recent work… which, if you're being fair, you shouldn't insist is 'all a waste of time' since, with this return visit of your focus to something you thought was already signed and sealed, you might actually be evading a future catastrophe. (You couldn't possibly know that, though. It's in the universe's secret plans.) You may also find that you must take back a commitment or sentiment, perhaps initially offered with pure heart (or perhaps not, for that matter), because your new vision of your 'availability' (time, energy, desire) changes the scene. Grumbling about the so-called 'added hassles' won't help you get the job (re)done any faster. Grin and bear it, then dive right back in. Despite all appearances, none of this is tangential to the process. In fact, these required corrections cut to its very heart.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): There's a strange parallel between the horoscope I wrote for Cancers this week and the one I'm composing for you, dear Aquarian… though, in both cases, the inspiration is the double stationing-to-retrograde of Mercury and Neptune at virtually the same time on Monday (May 26) morning. While I'm instructing the Cancerians to open up their psychic receptors, I see you as more the transmitter in this formula. But this isn't so lofty or serious as it may sound. It's actually quite easy. Just mobilize your most playful energies, and keep putting 'em out there. Give off a happy-go-lucky attitude, and you'll attract all sorts of folks—though some won't quite know why they're so drawn to you. (Doesn't really matter, does it?) While doing what you can to maintain a light mood, feel free to say whatever comes to you (as long as it's not intentionally hurtful, but you wouldn't do something like that, would you?). Express, express, express. Offer your cryptic observations, even when you're not even sure what they mean yourself. Be the quintessential free-spirit, risking social-and-political-correctness to speak your mind as if you were some Delphic Oracle (minus the self-importance). The kooky thing about it? The freer you are with your expression, the likelier you will say exactly what somebody needs to hear… though you might not have a clue you've done so, and though they might not realize it until later.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): What a perfect week for grabbing your favorite fancy journal or nearest spiral notebook… and jotting down some of the most immediate thoughts, feelings and notions that come to you, which will be ripe with amazing self-reflection and -expression. More ripe, perhaps, than you'll know at the time. Epiphany-level ripeness, even. My same counsel will hold true in other media as well, if you prefer to extemporaneously perform at coffee-house open-mic nights, sing, dance, paint or create something that encapsulates your emotional perspective from a blissfully unapologetic position of subjectivity. What this also means, Pisces, is that you'll have just as irritating a struggle trying to get outside this intensely subjective place… so you can forget about being able to calmly or rationally pin your reactions on other people, particularly since you'll neither be able to pinpoint what's really bugging you nor adequately explain yourself, as long as you must contend with another person's conflicting mindset interacting with yours. (This holds doubly true with regards to anybody you live with.) These people may, in fact, have very little to do with what's really stirring you up. Rather than griping about them to them, start blogging or journaling or sketching out your thoughts privately. Get it out of your system all right, but withstand the urge to openly point fingers of blame. Later on, once you reflect back on what you've created from this madness, you may find it tells you a whole lot more about you than it does about anyone else.