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Horoscopes | Week of December 5-11, 2005

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Peace on earth, goodwill to men and women… and all the hopes that you, Aries, will serve as protector and purveyor of such optimistically relaxed sentiments toward those you encounter this week—most particularly, yourself. What a wonderful opportunity to forgive everyone and everything that didn't behave quite as you might've wanted recently, due to your ruler Mars's restricting retrograde motion since early October. Cultivate trust in the existence of unknowable reasons why the way things happened as they did over these past couple months is exactly as they needed to, for whatever psychic potholes you avoided or paths to prospective disaster you circumvented. With Mars returning to direct travels by week's end, the forward momentum will begin building again. But continue to appreciate the patience you (hopefully) fostered recently, and give your characteristically-Aries dynamism a moment to get your engines fully up and running again. For the time being, allow the peace-and-goodwill lens to focus on holidaytime thankfulness for all that you have.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Breathe a sigh of relief that, by the end of the week, both Mercury and Mars will be back to normal direct motion. No longer need you sit on it, squelch it or snuff it… whatever 'it' may be. While you still have about a month or so of 'playing catch-up' before you feel completely back in your full element (retrograde Mars in your sign has a knack for making one wack!), in the meantime, chew on how much you've actually done these last two months while it seemed like you hadn't been 'doing' much of anything. Most profoundly, contemplate that strong sense of self you've had to forge, as the planetary points of the grinding grand cross continually bore down on you from all sides, like the walls of a small space close in on a claustrophobic. It's been nothing short of a constant balancing act between what you need and what the other person needs from you, which private emotional storms are genuine and which over-dramatized, and what must be 'pulled together' to produce a powerful presence on the public stage. (You know, just a few small things to worry about…) Now, it's time to invite all that's been brought on—and all you've willingly taken on—to sink in, mix and mingle in equivalent amounts, and become integrated. Integration: like the final essay you write to show the teacher you can summarize what you've learned and apply the knowledge to a more advanced real-life example.


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I return your attention to last week's intrusion of the esoteric into your otherwise intellectually-grounded lifestyle, if only to remind you how important experimentation is to the foundation of a Gemini's being. And if you're willing to suspend disbelief (as you might while watching a vacuous Hollywood harlot portraying an atomic scientist in some made-for-TV travesty), then I defy you to dabble in accepting as true some wildly and wonderfully uplifting idea… with full commitment to the notion that this action may contribute to its actually becoming true. So what if the crotchety criticism lodged against faith-based thinking is legitimate… that it only works because we want it to work? Does that make it any less magical, that our desires are strong enough to conjure such marvels? Choose your week's fondest desire, and tell yourself over and over again that it is true. I can't imagine that any harm could come of this exercise, unless (1) your enchanting incantation intends to coerce another person into going against his/her own will or (2) you go so far beyond the reasonable limits of reality, such as insisting on a belief that you can fly and then jumping off a tall building, that you risk physical safety. Avoid these no-nos, and it'll be hard to go wrong.


CANCER (June 21-July 22): Think about the kind of friend, peer, co-worker or confidante you want to be—in advance of demands being made on you in one of these roles, so you don't have the chance to inadvertently slip into obligations you don't want to have. With Mars stationing in your 11th, there's a high likelihood that others' circumstantial situations could sneakily swallow you into positions like the favor-doer, the incessant listener, the externalized conscience or the legitimatizing excuse for being bad ('because, of course, you won't tell anybody… will you?'). None of these, incidentally, respect you as an individual, but rather as some generic warm body that plugs into somebody else's plans and priorities. The first quarter Moon in Pisces can easily lead you to sacrifice yourself or your beliefs—or provide a beneficial backdrop for creating a vision for how to support others without draining your own faculties. It's your choice. Saying 'no' just may be the most merciful thing you do this week… but guide its utterance to a compassionate place by expecting it to be soft and struggle-free, instead of anticipating conflict and unconsciously fulfilling your own expectation.


LEO (July 23-August 22): You really and truly are a gift to others, Leo. You are the sign that represents manifestation of the Sun's warmth and light here on Earth. You are life. You must instill this knowledge deep in your being, believe it and remember it, because we can't go on reminding you all the time. We all need more of what you've got. We need you to dole out precious moments of your full and genuine presence for each of us, to demonstrate how you are eager to get totally and completely into what we're all about. We need you to hear us—to really hear us, like a child wants to please her parents with nothing but her being—so we feel acknowledged and loved. We know you're special, too (though we don't always want to admit it, for obvious reasons), which is why undivided attention from you thaws our frosty hearts and boosts our belief in being just fine as we are. We desperately want you to appreciate us, instead of you worrying about whether we appreciate you or remember that you're really and truly a gift to us. Do that, and, quite literally, everything you truly desire is destined to fall into place.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Here's one for those of you who think I'm mean to Virgos (or are you just mean to yourself?)… the theme for this week's horoscope is 'Who cares?' Whose business, anyway, is it to examine and evaluate how you do what you do? Nobody's, really. That's why you might as well stand firmly and freely in your desire to 'do' life how you want. By the way, the most important intent of my last two weeks' horoscopes was consciousness-raising, as opposed to criticizing something you might be 'doing wrong'. Who cares what I think? What matters is what you think about how you live… but with awareness, rather than unexamined blindness to the particularities (and peculiarities). Understand that how you do it is how you do it, not necessarily how others must or should, or are even capable of. And neither is it wrong. Nor right. You, however, possess a huge degree of personal choice to make these distinctions yourself… for yourself, that is. But there's always another choice, and it's hard to say you've legitimately chosen one, if you've never considered others.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Flashback to three weeks ago, when 'inappropriate' urges reigned supreme, tempting you to defy Libran convention and blast your displeasure outward, with nary an apologetic word attached. Thanks to the newly-restored forward movement of previously-perturbingly-retrograde planets, you have a chance to do it again—or for the first time, if you effectively fought off the prior temptation. This go-around, you can convey your frustrations and flusters without as great a risk of uncontrollability, though still with less of your stereotypical demureness. No need to beat around the bush in order to be respectful. But it's best to stick to the 'what's-best-fors'… what's best for the job, what's best for the kids, what's best for the house, what's best for the bottom line… instead of concentrating your speaking-out on what soothes your ego's discomfort with disagreement. After all, it's easiest to solve a problem when you keep that problem at front and center of all discussions, rather than swaying into the vastly more contentious zone of 'getting personal'.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): With Mars turning direct after two long months of retrograde entrenchment in your 7th house of relationships, you're due for a potent switch-flipping in all those potential conflicts and interpersonal differences that have loomed and lingered. Did you forestall the fighting and ferocity, bare your teeth and growl, or go in for the kill? No sudden moves to take retributive actions, to make changes or right wrongs, Scorpio… just sit in the recognition of your emotional power, of what you could've done better or worse or more or not at all, and allow the directional shift to adjust your awareness of 'the other side'. Then, fidget ever so gently with the dials over these next few weeks to alleviate any temporary static that has arisen, with special attention made to consciously transmit understanding to those who've recently reacted poorly to you. Once the fine-tuning draws to a close around year's end, you'll have a crystal-clear signal over which to assume your Jupiter-bestowed rule of the airwaves.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): This is a week in which it pays to be, as much as possible, a wanderer without a concrete agenda. You're far likelier to find what you're not looking for—and gain grand enjoyment from whatever serendipity, synchronicity and circumstance send your way—than to seek satisfaction by looking for what you haven't yet found. If you've never found it before, how then do you expect to know what to look for? It seems a goal nearly impossible to meet, with the unfortunately potential to lead you right past the neighborhood pot of gold to a distant trash heap, as your gaze is always headed faraway. To wander is to deliberately slow your pace, blunt your intent and widen your eyes, taking every detour and drawing out every interaction past its logical end to absurdist delight. Stay perfectly physical, as opposed to solely in your head, when making directional decisions. The body knows where the heart wants to go. And please, if you truly want to enjoy your week, make sure to look at instead of looking for.


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): Here's your week's visualization for earthly abundance, Capricorn. May its image attach to your inner mind with the intent of generating more riches from the wealth already coursing through you. You hold a large, beautifully polished silver pitcher, full to the brim with all your innate resourcefulness, diligence, discrimination and foresight. As you begin to tip the pitcher, what pours forth is a stream of phosphorescent light in whatever color of your choosing, glowing against space. This is your fertile creative energy, an endless fount filled and refilled as you breathe and sleep and live and love. How fortuitous that you are not afraid to work hard, to pour and pour and pour… this ethic is in your being. And in this vision, there is no criticism. Everything that pours from you is good. What doesn't work for you now is merely an inspirational lesson for later. As the pouring energy hits the vessel laid out beneath to catch its flow, the magic happens. As its hits, the stream turns into shimmering coins (or whatever other symbol of prosperity), clinking in mounds of affluence at your feet. At this place is the princely junction of your creative vitality and the Earth, and the product of its synergy is abundance.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): Last week, you and I discussed the burgeoning transition from 'good stuff behind the scenes' to 'good stuff out in the open'. This week, two astrological happenings—Chiron's reentry into your sign, and the end to Mars's 2-month pestering retrograde—help ease this transition, showing you a glimpse of light at the end of this tunnel of challenging times. Give it another couple months, and you'll hardly believe what will be revealed… all the wonders that this vise-like constriction was preparing you for. For now, though, I redirect your attention to the conclusion of last week's advice: the need to gather your professional hopes and put them out there. A Sun-Neptune sextile means social interactions could bring 'fated' assistance in carrying your hopes one step closer to reality… so please tell people about these hopes, without trying to determine whether a given person is 'relevant' to the cause. You never know whose aunt, neighbor, plumber or best friend's best friend is also the owner of the establishment, the chair of the selection committee or the crony with the right credentials. In other words, the holder of the key to your dream world could be only one or two steps away right now… but you'll never know, as long as you keep quiet.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): You know, Pisces, some astrologers refer to you as 'the dustbin of the zodiac'. How does that make you feel? Are you satisfied succumbing to someone else's metaphor, one that casts your very essence as nothing more than a collector of crumbs, pet hair and dead skin? If I were you, I'd be not only pissed, but more than a little skeptical that something significant is being lost in the translation. Just because they don't have the proper words for your condition, that's no justification for subjecting you to such name-calling. In order to demand better treatment by those who misunderstand you, I suggest you latch onto every last 'negative' word and description someone else pins on you… and rephrase it in terms that you feel suit you better. After all, you're the one who knows best. And while you're at it, make sure this remodeled character profile reads in a way that deems you acceptable as you are, rather than inherently deficient or 'too' anything. Maybe you're not the one living in a dustbin dream world. Maybe everything else is an earthling illusion, intended to make you transcendent souls feel badly about yourselves… because if you didn't, you just might realize that you're the one with many more fitting answers and observations. Fuck that idea of 'dust', obviously created by those more afraid to get dirty.