Horoscopes | Week of December 10-16, 2012

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In a near-magical turn of events, you may already be seeing glimpses of a radically enlarged perspective on all the upheaval that's not even completely done up-heaving itself yet… which is, by all accounts, a fairly encouraging sign that you aren't quite as far from getting past this as it seemed only a couple weeks earlier. Don't grab for that still-unshaped future just yet, though, Aries: Dust remains in the process of settling, and you'll jeopardize your most psychologically sophisticated relationship to everything that's happened by rushing through the various stages of integrative processing. But, damn, you can also etch this exhilarating potential for moving on onto your slate for 2013—and give yourself a wholly fresh vision to get pumped up about, to help motivate you through those dragging durations when you doubt how much more you can take. You can take more, as you're now coming to see, because there will come a day when something entirely different is going on.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Too much is now on the line, Taurus, for you to bother not plunging yourself unhaltingly into the thick of things. The cautious, bide-my-time, wait-and-see period has come and gone. What's left to wait and see about, anyhow? Rather than panic about the magnitude of this involvement (and what you might someday have to face, maybe, as a consequence of having dared to immerse yourself in this much richness-of-life), try to savor the vertiginous thrills of this passion-inspired loss of control. Don't waste the experience of the ride attempting to discern which way is up; just spin with it, head over feet over head over feet, until your eyes stop trying to focus on a clear picture. We can both freely admit that this is not your typical mode of movement, and, therefore, additional mindfulness paid toward the need to take lots of deep-breaths (and maybe a Dramamine) should hopefully help neutralize any motion-sickness symptoms. But you wouldn't be curmudgeonly enough to withdraw from this whole delicious extravaganza, out of fear of a nervous tummy, would you?


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Pick back up wherever you left a budding (and potentially promising?) interpersonal connection hanging on the line. Over these past many weeks, plenty else has occupied your immediate attention… and besides, Gemini, hadn't there been some odd glitch or case of crossed-wires or sudden spooked-out retreat-response in your budding dynamic that probably warranted a momentary recess in its evolutionary process? If such a cause-for-pause did occur, I strongly encourage to leave it all in the past. Because (for the trillionth mention) timing really is everything—and because golden-lass Venus is entering your relationship house (the 7th) this week—you should feel quite confident in proactively reestablishing and/or reinvigorating the vibe. Even if you cannot help but draw attention to what's gone down by explicitly raising the topic of 'hey, what went down, anyway?', you're likelier than usual to get good results. Let me repeat, however: There's no need to revisit it, when you could just as easily write it off to a mutually blameless bumbling of negligible proportions and leave it all in the past. But if you must, for your own comfort, by all means…


CANCER (June 21-July 22): Think 'how am I going to get this all done?'—and forget all about 'what am I going to do after this is all done?' There's a contagion of jubilant productiveness you Cancerians are being exposed to, and you're bound to catch it (unless, that is, you're seriously mind-tripping yourself with anxiety that's not going to budge until you budge). Plus, what's at stake in this madly effective moment is more than just what's actually on your plate right now: You are actually freeing yourself up in a far profounder way than is immediately apparent, which will aid you in the continuing reinvention of your entire work/career personality. But please stop thinking about all that for the time being. (Sorry, I guess I'm partly to blame for diverting your attention.) Instead, blast whatever upbeat tunes will get you moving at a faster pace. Line up the to-dos in a straight shot, one right after the other, and start knocking through 'em. It wouldn't surprise me to discover you literally whistling (or humming or singing in your most obnoxiously fun-loving falsetto) while you work.


LEO (July 23-August 22): The ridiculousness of it all?!? Well, you've just got to laugh. So let the laughter unceremoniously commence, Leo, erupting, without regard for the supposed delicacy with which 'such matters should be handled' (whatever the fuck that means), across every last bit of your present-moment life. It is seriously time to crack the shit out of yourself—and out of all the frowning faces everywhere you seem to look—because life is too short not to, plus the year is finally coming to an end and maybe even the whole world is finally coming to an end and therefore to hell with sitting in a quiet corner and crying your little eyes out about it. Party like your life depends on it; in a certain sense, it does. That ole 'look on the bright side' routine is not merely a trite sentiment we spit out when we aren't sure what else to tell someone who's suffering. It's actually a winning philosophy to guide you every day of your existence. Simple though it sounds, it's deeply profound… which is cause enough to laugh your ass off about its ridiculous profundity, among other things.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Per the schedule I laid out last week, you may now find it more fruitful to turn comparatively quiet. After an interval during which speaking up and/or continuing to participate in a fairly dense conversation beyond your comfort point, I'm not sure you've got much more to say, Virgo. It's probably not worth the additional breath, then, to belabor a single bit of unsatisfying stalemate or is-this-too-good-to-be-true news. Sit on it a spell. Discover how it feels to silently allow the drops of relational condensation to fall upon your bare skin, alone, with no one else thirstily watching you for any glints of reaction. Drastically turn down the volume of outside interference. Snuggle into the comforting expanse of Time To Think. The only conceivable reason I can come up with for bothering to engage in further dialogue at this point? If your ability to secure the sufficient breathing-room to heed this horoscope's advice is at risk, due to a certain someone's presence greedily infringing upon your psychic self-containment, you might need to deliver a bluntly unmistakable instruction to just give you a few moments to yourself.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Break the customary relational pattern, Libra. Surprise your sweetie or best friend with a visit to a strange setting or unusual destination. Be just that much more noticeably louder, coarser, cruder, or utterly unconcerned with what those nearby might think. Ask borderline-invasive questions of your companion, not to put them on the spot (and certainly not in a manipulative, baiting manner) but just because you're curious about their answers and have never really pursued that line of conversation so directly before. Shirk all expectations by refusing to order your regular dish at the local joint. Take small but apparent liberties in your exchanges with strangers… with full knowledge they'll either adore you for it or take needless offense (though what the fuck does it matter, as long as you were just being innocuously playful?), and then the person you're with will be left momentary speechless by your breach of social convention. You are more than they cracked you up to be, aren't you? For once, let them be taken off-guard by you… and leave 'em guessing what'll come out of your mouth next.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): What a month, eh? The cards flipped. And you lived every strange minute of it, Scorpio... which you presumably made sense of by then repeating to yourself a validating synopsis of what just occurred, to assist you in internalizing the actuality of it all. So now it is real and you cannot believe anything other than it is real. Moving forward? The next few weeks, in this light, ought to be used for figuring out how to integrate this changed reality into your day-to-day practical handlings... readjusting your understanding of what resources you've now got to work with (i.e., more, less, different), and what sort of transformed self-confidence level (i.e., higher, lower, different) you must adjust to projecting. I am hoping against all hope that the recent changes have brought you more resources and a higher level of self-confidence because, frankly, that's a lot easier to adjust to (though not, in fact, all that simple). If you've unfortunately slipped in the other direction… well, you cannot afford to feel too badly about yourself at the moment. Shift into survival mode, and channel your tireless Scorpio ferocity.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): The astrological recalibration in the air around you this week will be palpable… unless, that is, your head is so far up your own ass that you've lost all access to your senses. So many indicators are thematically converging to deliver a 'fresh start for Sagittarius' message, including the especially wonderful arrival of Venus to your home-sign (where she'll stay through early January), you have absolutely no excuse to mutter any nonsense whatsoever about feeling 'stuck'. Dare you consider your circumstances in such a stuckness light, I strongly urge you to make a renewed commitment to yourself right this very minute to un-stick yourself in at least one massively significant way during the next few weeks (and, no, I don't care about your busy holiday schedule). This moment powerfully favors such efforts, and you mustn't let it pass unacknowledged. I will assume, however, that most of you Sagittarians do not have your heads up your asses… in which case, you probably know as well as I do that you're so fucking ready to relish these remaining moments of '12. And because Venus has got your back, ladies and gentlemen, you can get away with lots more rascally raucousness than usual—and everyone's likelier to smile and laugh in response, rather than being all uptight or needlessly put off by you.


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): Adjust your mental lens to 'slightly fuzzy'. At the moment, your watchful glare is not needed to spot mistakes waiting to happen or specificities yet to be adequately addressed. Space out, Capricorn. Breathe in the mystical mists through which there's no choice but to wander; breathe out the compulsion to stay on top of everybody's business. Enlightening alternatives to that recurrent sense of 'being trapped by circumstance' pop into the peripheral margins of your consciousness (though threaten to disappear just as quickly, if you start trying to make concrete plans out of 'em). Let these potentially life-changing ideas just float around, undisturbed by attempted action. By leaving enough empty space for Chance (or whatever the fuck it is) to worm its squirmy tentacles into your receptive mind, you just might get struck on the head by a divine apple's-fall… and, before you can even gather the wherewithal to stop yourself from looking silly, you're zanily shrieking, 'Eureka!'


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): Your genius will not currently flourish as it's intended to, Aquarius, as long as it's bouncing around inside the echo-chamber of your own mind, wondering what to do with itself. This is an excellent week for swapping brainstorms, offering unsolicited suggestions to stalemated friends or stunted colleagues, handing out free concepts to fledgling entrepreneurs, and/or asking the opinionated folks in your life to kindly and compassionately rip apart the blindspots in your thinking. Just as species can only evolve through ongoing encounters with the unique characteristics of their habitat, so too do ideas demand a certain degree of molding and shaping by the outside world (courtesy of both synergistic feedback and a dose of healthy friction from other idea-people) for their fittest development. Most important to remember: Don't be afraid to be 'wrong', if such a categorization is even relevant in this context. This is a creative process—whatever supposedly silly or short-sighted notion you toss out there may be an excellent starting-point, from which a series of refining tweaks then unfolds.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): You're… on! Yes, Pisces, that's your name they're calling over the loudspeaker. It's your opinions they're specifically asking about, and your cumulative accomplishments they'd like to commend you for, if you would be kind enough to delineate them in glorifying detail. For heaven's sake, please don't be shy about it. Even if you're not quite comfortable with making this a self-congratulatory lovefest (though the planets sure wouldn't mind if you talked yourself up a smidge), you must at least pander to the Powers-That-Be with a public acknowledgment of the whole team or organization's success (which, of course, includes an implicit claim of some personal credit since you were an integral part of that, right?). However, if you also hope to ultimately earn a more substantial living for yourself, learning to become increasingly okay with tooting your own horn is an essential step in the process. Before you should ever expect anyone else to recognize your personal talents and triumphs, you've got to be willing to politely point them out.