Horoscopes | Week of November 28-December 4, 2011

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Model responsible, long-view leadership for the people who are watching. Ably demonstrate how you won't prematurely discharge all your ammunition, just because there's presently lots to shoot at. The game-winning authority, Aries, is the one who'll triumphantly persist until they're the last man or woman standing, after everyone else has fallen due to insufficient preparation, feeble constitution or short-attention span. If you honestly believe you are such an authority, step up into the golden rays and proudly bathe yourself in the deserved glory. You will stay standing. You will still be around in this scene a year or two from now. They will remember your name, not because you paid an insincere celebrity to spout a crafted PR message over the airwaves, but from remembering the impression your unwavering substantiality imprinted on their grasp of this entire topic. Only speak boldly if you'll be backing up your statements with steady action, tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. If all this is understood and accepted with sober recognition, you are our next star.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You could (1) spazz yourself into a rampage, just because you want to make damned sure they know who they're messing with, and that they'll get messed with back times three, dare they keep poking this Taurus… or you could (2) sit back with utter unperturbed certainty that the principles so self-evidently implicated in this scene will indeed speak for themselves, without you having to raise your voice or assume the defensive pose. As we all know, pride can often be a determined rascal in goading us to add that one extra dig (or seven), or to take the entire production to an unnecessary next-level, so nobody will walk away unjustly thinking we're wobbly-kneed. But you can beat pride at its own game by going even further and not getting worked up, demonstrating you're so faithful the ethics are on your side, you needn't bother spoiling your good mood to engage so feverishly. Show 'em up: Go do something else with that fire, something way more fun.


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): To truly come clean is to lift up the carpets and sweep away all that's accumulated underneath, to take everything from the cabinets and scour 'em down, and to dust out cobwebs from the deepest corners. A comprehensive airing-out, Gemini, is how you'll reacquaint yourself with what's actually there, what's been allowed to build up, and what must be disposed us to help you sleep better at night. Anything less thorough, though possibly 'more convenient' (and almost certainly less upsetting to all parties who stand to lose an illusion from such an accurate inventorying), brings the remnants of your old life along with you to the next chapter, to replicate eerie reruns like an indestructible virus. Despite the melodrama in these descriptions, however, this effort is quite personally beneficial to you—and I'm not just talking in the abstract 'someday my prince will come' sense (though the most glamorous results could still be months away). Immediately upon clutching the scrub-brush and/or dumping the bags of garbage at the curb, you will feel potent… not just in your relation to a certain someone, but in your stance toward the world at large, unafraid of confronting any-sized trash heap.


CANCER (June 21-July 22): Be deliberate—maybe even a little cunning (minus any full-on deceit)—in what you want from certain people and how you go about getting it. With an intensely persuasive Venus-Pluto conjunction in your relationship house (the 7th), Cancer, you presently hold an unusual power over those you're partnered with (in any sense)… which I advise intently using rather than pushing away. This is the kind of setup where you could essentially sweet-talk this significant someone into obeying your every command, as long as the 'commands' sound more like shrewd suggestions that help everyone step closer to results they desire (though, at the same time, you'd be subtly inserting this very 'desire' into their consciousness, hypnotist-style). I don't see anything wrong with deploying your powers of suggestion, provided it doesn't cross the border into coercion. If, however, you're way too angelic (or so you claim) to be this crafty with another's free-will, then please do be careful: The same scenario might be playing out in reverse, and are you sure you're not being sweet-talked into giving them what they want?


LEO (July 23-August 22): This is now the third week in a row I'm compelled to pen you a horoscope about pouring intense mountain-moving optimism into your work, Leo, whether it's specifically job-related or involving some other gargantuan task of your own choosing… right at the same moment you're being bombarded with ample opportunity to simply enjoy being you, however that pleasurable circumstance is presenting itself. So obviously, this theme is super-important to get a hold on at the present time, right? The 'work hard, play hard' sound-bite is pretty tired at this point, though its relevance to you ought not to be ignored. I guess I just don't want your thankful amazement that, finally, an upswing of good stuff has perked you up to become an excuse for you to rebelliously ignore the longer-term potential in also pushing yourself toward productive gains… as if you somehow 'deserve' to take a load off and bask in the fun of loving life again. All 'deserving' aside, the timing just is what it is; don't squander it solely on playing.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Please don't derail yourself, Virgo, at a time when you're otherwise outwardly emitting a mighty—and rather appealing—combination of feistiness and self-possession. In a case of the old saying actually meaning something more literal than we usually assume, you will be your own worst enemy if you obey the untrustworthy currents in your head, telling you to simmer down and not to bother with all that you're trying to stir into manifestation. Even as I write this, I believe you will in fact know you're being silly with yourself, should your inner critic be working this hard to override the obvious signs of evolution, just to reassert ownership over your emotional programming. By this point, you already ought to be out enjoying your sweet spot in the sun, frankly, rather than indulging one more second of any self-defeating garbage. I mean, please. With the astrology I'm seeing for you, you're the last person who needs to be retreating back into a cave these days.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Powerful positive processing occurs by gazing inward, Libra, and confronting your psychological circumstances from the not-cynical awareness of every individual's ultimate aloneness. Though this can be a difficult realization for partner-minded Librans to swallow, it's simultaneously quite self-stabilizing to accept full responsibility for one's well-being… and not perpetually hinge the phantom idea of satisfaction on hopes of one day receiving something from somebody. At home, settling into a nurturing nest of your own making, you give yourself soft strokes of comfort. You are the one you'll always be able to count on, if you insist on making it so: complete as it already is, not searching beyond. And then, when you leave this safe zone and return to the mingling, you can effortlessly enjoy it for it is, rather than relentlessly scanning the faces for some other half to complete a non-existent puzzle. Own your longings, but refuse to treat them with foreign substances. You'll heal yourself, if you accept your unparalleled power to know your own best medicine.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Your seductive charms will work their magic most effectively sideways, through casual conversation and inconspicuous data-swapping, instead of through direct advances. It's almost as if you have to let them come to you, Scorpio, though not without you having given the 'right' sort of meaningful eye-contact or suggestive jokes. Conversely, if you waltz in like you own the place, expecting everybody to hand over their wallets or their insider information (or, for that matter, the key to their hotel room for later tonight), you'll likely end up eliciting someone's droll, unimpressed distaste. You want to stand out so badly? You'll stand out all right, but not for flattering reasons. Work from the perimeter, the unobtrusive corners, in a hushed-though-still-engaged manner that makes them lean in towards you, curious to learn more (since you haven't blown all your money-shots in the first fifteen seconds). As long as they're still wanting more, they'll keep giving more to you.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): If you smartly remind yourself who's buttering your bread—and if your bank-account balance would prefer it to continue being buttered—then I'd recommend watching out for any tussles with authority-figures or decision-makers involved with the aforementioned bread-buttering. All this eclipse business has definitely been inciting your wild side to come visit, Sagittarius, which is mostly all well-and-good… except when your mouthy impulses might lead you to forget 'who's boss', in the metaphoric or quite-literal sense. You can presently get away with almost anything, but probably not a direct head-on confrontation with someone whose public reputation might be threatened (for real or in their own head) by your brashly speaking to them as if you're (gasp) equals. Of course, you and I both know you are this person's equal, at least in your shared humanity, if not in legitimate knowledge and experience. But corralling your bucking-bronco urges in all exchanges with such an individual should be prudently thought of as part of your job.


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): With such an impressive conjunction of fair-maiden Venus and almighty-overlord Pluto in your sign this week, Capricorn, you bear a high potential to call all the shots in various contexts across the board… but only if you plan to do so with a smile on your face and a non-threatening tone to your voice. You don't actually have to pound them over the head with profusive explanatory rationale, a condescending superiority trip, or threats of any kind. With confidence in the meticulous integrity I presume you'll be relying on to guide you, you can quietly (but not smugly) know you're doing the right thing for all parties' long-term welfare. Well, maybe not all parties—at least not in the mind of one certain someone who may be utterly suspicious of your motives (should they be?) and seek to cause a crack in your well-mannered presentation by luring you into an entirely unbecoming lashing-out. Keep your eye out for such an undercover saboteur, who, unbeknownst to the other players, might want nothing more than to watch you lose your cool. Don't fall for it.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): The one who believes to know the most about everyone else (at least those among the group they belong to) may do best to wield this belief lightly. The observer's tongue can cut like a razor when armed with detailed knowledge of the dynamics underlying who behaves in what manner toward whom. Your best luck as a knowledgeable one, Aquarius, comes in assuming your prescience is a private spiritual test, proctored by the universe and scored on a scale nobody else would understand. Motives matter more on this examination than shooting your hand up when a situation presents the question, as if your too violently quick an answer proves you're smart enough to matter. Meet everybody where they stand, as they are, and only mete out the information you proclaim to possess on an 'as needed' basis. Better yet, use your invisible animal-charming abilities in conjunction with what you know about their self-complicating drives, to subtly help bring them peace… instead of, say, schooling them with an icy disciplinary correction.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): Better to become surer of who really is on your team, instead of making nicey-nice with every last person… some of whom would happily stick their foot out and trip you, if it meant they'd get an extra piece of pie. This is your ambition that's now opening its arms wide to you, Pisces, and if you truly do want its enticing pull to continue propelling you onward, you'll have to demonstrate some iron-spined toughness and not let a pesky little bug defile your picnic. That said, I'm sure your genuine allies are a stronger force than any isolated obstructionist miscreants who can't stand to see other people succeed. If you start to feel momentarily doubtful or weak, please call on these backup supporters… to bolster your resolve, to provide reality-check insight on any troublemaker's character, and to help you devise your next step up the ladder. The more impressive you become, the likelier you'll attract some envying attention from one place or another—but that's obviously no reason to hold yourself down.