Horoscopes | Week of September 20-26, 2010

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In light of what I've already reported regarding this unfortunate 'limbo-like lull', you ought to be satisfied with very modest amounts of advance. Every inch forward counts, Aries. So first, you need to get on board with adjusting your expectations accordingly. Once you've done that, take a two-pronged strategy toward moving ahead. Prong 1: Concentrate your brainstorming and/or problem-solving skills in one particular area, rather than letting your mind run wild with the innumerable loose-ends and question-marks that'd otherwise drive you mad with anxious anticipation. Corral that thought process, and stay within limits. Within the well-defined terms of a single specific situation, you can make headway—as long as you just don't leave that box. Prong 2: Be incredibly compassionate with yourself, appreciating the mood turbulence that naturally accompanies this recent downshift in rate of progress. As we discussed last week, learning more about those demons that rise from their shadowy hiding-places at moments like this is just as crucial a step as any other. Don't allow unsettled emotions threaten your ability to at least accomplish something.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you aren't carving significant chunks of time out of your week for basking in the company of one or more of your favorite people, you are letting a very meaningful pleasure of being pass you by. And if you don't make a point of explicitly informing this fave friend, cherished partner or admired collaborator exactly how much meaningful pleasure you derive from your relationship with them, you aren't taking advantage of this chance while you still have. Life is too short not to prioritize your interpersonal connections, Taurus… and shame on you should you dare to presume any excuse you muster (about work stress or personal emotional turmoil or what-have-you) is valid enough to override the need to engage and relate. For the time being, nothing matters more than making yourself available to other people… as a friend, partner, collaborator, lover, cheerleader, shoulder to cry or vent on, proxy sanity, mischievous influence and/or kindred spirit. Just so you know, one of these 'other people' could be somebody you're just barely becoming acquainted with—and if that's the case, actively invest in getting to know 'em better.


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): 'Do the shit you've got to get done, and quit whining about it' probably isn't the best path to motivating you, is it? But, oops, I guess I've already shown you my cards, Gemini, so there isn't any point to my backtracking from that opening-line doozy. Okay, then, I suppose you could do a smidge of private whining… as long as you don't drag anybody else into it, expecting them to commiserate when either (a) they've got plenty of their own shit to get done and won't want to hear you list off yours or (b) they're presently slated to enjoy themselves and it's really not very kind to implicate them in a pity party. Remember this, though: A lot of the shit (and I'm purposely using that excremental cussword repeatedly as a means of demonstrating I feel you) is merely mundane busywork, chores and papers, clean-up and put-away, and thus is more annoying than woe-inspiring. That's not to say you haven't had plenty of reason to lament other woe-inspiring issues over recent months, genuine difficulties I would never tell you to 'quit whining about'. So let's put this all into perspective: This shit is not that shit. Don't conflate; differentiate.


CANCER (June 21-July 22): You want to know what's presently your best bet for displaying heartfelt nurturance and care for others? (Can I play to you or what?) It's easy, Cancer: Show 'em a good time. And if they'd rather rain on the parade, pouting party-pooper-style at your every suggestion for brightening their mood, don't cater to them. You needn't be rude about it, of course, but you also oughtn't get sucked into their poor-me routine (yes, even if they have a so-called 'legitimate' reason for feeling down)… because then there'd be two people on a downswing, and you would be shirking your current astro-responsibility to carouse and cavort (courtesy of Mars and Venus in your 5th). The best medicine for whatever's ails a soul is a hearty laugh shared with pleasurable company. Yet, you cannot force anybody to swallow the remedy against their will. Do your best to inspire joy. Should you notice it's not working, however, cut your losses and preserve your own pleasure. Having fun while someone else is moping does not make you an uncaring person, by the way.


LEO (July 23-August 22): What you have got to do, Leo, really has little to do with them. You'll be proceeding under faulty logic, then, if you allow a pal to persuade you to tackle your self-care goals, your heaping helping of responsibilities or other chorestheir way, which they are probably convinced is 'your perfect solution'. Hogwash. Different people triumph using different tactics to achieve the same results… and at this particular astro-moment, you're likelier to work best by following a highly subjective, go-by-feel process that might look peculiar to anybody else. Forget about looking for affirmation from others about whether you're 'doing it right'; if you're following your gut instincts and beginning to see some observable progress (even if, at this point, it's still somewhat limited), you're on the right track. This is a lesson in trusting your inner voice to guide you in handling life's tasks according to a manner best suited both to tangible effectiveness and personal well-being. Yes, we can fulfill our productivity demands while still deeply feeling one with ourselves. That secret formula, alas, is a uniquely individual recipe.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Ever suffer from Leo envy? Wonder how Geminis can be so damn casual about everything? Whatever other zodiac-sign or type of individual you project your imagined sense of carefree curiosity or unapologetic attention-seeking onto, Virgo, that's who I want you to portray this week… even if, in the act of conspicuously shedding cares or seeking attention, you can't shake the feeling you're not quite 'being yourself'. Your image of them is probably similarly inaccurate to your own of 'yourself', which doesn't always line up into a consistent whole. The part of you that yearns for less inhibiting self-consciousness is still 'you' too, though when it doesn't receive the proper tending-to, it's all too quick to point disdainful (jealous?) fingers at those who don't bog themselves down with excuses not to let loose. So while it may seem a bit (falsely?) inauthentic to merely say whatever comes to your tongue, without concern for whether it's the 'right' remark for the situation (or what certain others will think of you if you extemporaneously 'run your mouth off'), such behavior will also unleash that pent-up, blunt-talking, occasionally uninformed (even buffoonish!) dilettante who simply wants to be part of a lively conversation… with no expectations other than amusement, just because.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): I suspect your budget demands a bit of tweaking. But before you panic about tightening your purse-strings, Libra, let me point out that, as we speak, you are already allocating funds toward at least one expense which is offering you very little return on your investment. In other words, you're essentially wasting money on something you derive no pleasure and/or value from. And at this point in history, such excesses (and we're all guilty of 'em) are part of what's tearing our collective spirit to tatters. Places to look for the extra fifty or hundred bucks a month: cable bills (do you really watch all those channels?), salon visits (decrease the frequency? go somewhere less expensive? grab a home color kit?), gourmet groceries, appetizers and desserts, grabbing coffee out at cafes instead of making it yourself, online click-and-buys, designer accessories, designer dogs, first-class accommodations, overpriced cocktails… You get the picture. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised once you discover how easy it would be to cut out one or more non-essential expenditures—without impacting the quality of your life in the slightest. This budgetary fine-tuning is presently a great place to focus energy. Not only will you save a few bucks, but you'll derive a sense of accomplishment from the act of consciously identifying where your money goes.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): You presently possess great sway over the hearts and minds of a certain slice of the population, which is a capacity I encourage you to use for bringing people together rather than splitting them apart. Some lesser-evolved Scorpios will actually (consciously or not) pit pals or colleagues against each other, presenting them with partial facts or way-imbalanced synopses in an attempt to remain in the center of the fray as the one most cherished and adored. While such an approach might seem to provide short-term ego-boosts, however, it also often causes the central player (i.e., you) more future drama than anticipated—and, perhaps even more troublesome, creates self-doubt or upset in the other players' lives. Therefore, I want you to remain acutely aware, Scorpio, of the potential damage you could do to your pals or colleagues by interfering with their ability to strengthen their other allegiances, just to put yourself first. It really does serve you, in the end, to promote a 'we're in this together' mentality… though surely there's the temptation, now that life is starting to go your way again, to grab all you can for Numero Uno.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): Even despite any sneaking suspicions you might be harboring, it's still best to plaster a perfunctory appropriateness atop your visage. In other words, Sagittarius, something may indeed stink—or, on the other hand, you could be suffering another one of your olfactory hallucinations—but it doesn't behoove you to make an attention-grabbing announcement about that fact, lest it come back to bite you in the ass. For all we know, the culprit is very eager to pin the guilt on another party… and along you traipse, with your loose tongue and accusatory mistrust, and suddenly you wind up on the hot seat, simply for daring to call into full consciousness what was before only lurking in semi-manifestation. What you're suspicious about, whether it's really something to furrow your brow over or a mere mirage, isn't well-formed enough to presently bother bothering with. Thus, make no external mention of it. It certainly wouldn't do you harm, of course, to quietly keep an investigative eye out. However, scents and whispers and intimations are not enough evidence to go on.


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): Your outward public success are presently inextricably tied to 'holding your own' in interactive, collaborative settings, where certain other folks could (intentionally or not) make themselves difficult by refusing to accede to your strong convictions. In the end, they may or may not ever choose to embrace your clearly demarked prioritization of What's Most Important. That is out of your hands. But what you really should commit to, Capricorn, is persevering through the conversation despite any and all objections, exceptions or irrelevancies thrown at you… and while you might get a bit hot under the collar and feel moved to pad your words with attitudinal emphasis, you mustn't all-out explode or walk away from the table altogether, impatient with conducting yourself with decorum while others cannot return the favor. Hold it together; your worst error would be to cut off the dialogue prematurely, leaving 'em to think there's more value in their nonsense than, in fact, there is.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): Don't fear eliciting uncomfortable and/or hyper-emotional responses from folks, once you embrace last week's advice and really let your opinions and ideas speak for themselves. I'm telling you, Aquarius, that your most frightful worries about what could happen to you—expulsion? excommunication?—are much worse than what reality has in store. But I also understand if my statement on the intense power of your irrational fears goes in one ear and out the other, since I can't guarantee you'll suffer no consequences from defiantly refusing to kowtow. A 'consequence', however, isn't necessarily a bad thing; it's merely what happens next. And as long as scenarios remain in-your-head hypothetical (meaning: as long as you don't take outward action, which for you may involve some productive button-pushing), you'll never get to the 'next' step… and will be left to indulge those worst fears endlessly, allowing them to bloat to epic proportions. Move toward the potential discomfort, if only to move past the self-immobilizing worry.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): Adjust your perspective. Any concept of you 'being trapped' is so yesteryear. Your eyes are just now acclimating to a much larger worldview, one in which prior limitations have given way to an endless stream of possibilities. And your biggest challenge at this juncture, Pisces, is simply deciding which you'd most like to pursue because they stimulate a deep need for dedicating your sympathetic energies to some greater purpose, and which merely sound fun but aren't likely to provide you anything significantly new. Go for the purposeful and new. The people you meet through this new purposeful involvement (perhaps including one very special friend?) will help anchor you into this other reality, far from the defeating messages you swam in during your last incarnation. Let them talk you up, rather than allowing ghosts from the past talk you back into the veal-pen. Don't ignore your powerful need to work with a dedicated band of others toward making this world a better place. Any viewpoints contrary to this notion are merely voicing their own egoic concern that you'll leave them behind.