Horoscopes | Week of August 25-31, 2008

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You already got your big hint about what's coming down the line for you last week, when I urged you to finagle one more week of diligent effort… in advance of interpersonal concerns soon to be taking over your life. I suppose I'm shit out of luck, then, in trying to coax yet another valiant workweek out of you, Aries? Thought so. By now, I think it'd be too much to suppose you might resist the ever-multiplying morsels of distraction that pull you away from being a good little boy or girl. Basically, the main train of realization behind your desire for distraction is: 'There's so much going on out there, beyond this tiny sphere I've been caught up in (for good reason) for so long now. I'm ready for something else.'. And yes, your world is about to become that much bigger… at least insofar as you'll finally get to do other things besides that which you've been repeatedly returning your attention to (I presume), week in and week out, for what seems like forever. As for your personal relationships (not just the romantic ones, but any important one-on-one pairings), you should start building in lots more togetherness time for the month of September ahead. Sure, at times, you won't know whether you want to plant a wet one on 'em or punch 'em square in the face. But you definitely will be interested in what they're doing, in some compelling way or the other.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I say, Go ahead, cram your off-the-cuff remarks full of enticing ambiguities, sort-of-secret(-but-not-really) hidden meanings and saucy double-entendres… enough, at least, to preserve their interest in you (whatever that may be) relevant and fresh… aiming for one type of hot-and-sticky palpability in the air or another… some vibe that sits dense over everybody's heads, threatening to pour wet showers of storm water down at any instant… but, for at least right now, not just quite yet. You want to give 'em something to hold onto, to ensure their fires will remain burning for you even if/when you must temporarily step away (or fly off on another adventure). The reality, Taurus, is that you're about to face an increase in workload, as duties and responsibilities begin to pile up on your plate. Yet, beautifully, all this happens just as you're hitting a limit to how many more exciting twists-and-turns on this latest certain rollercoaster ride you can actually stomach, before it threatens to consume your entire life. The timing for this shift couldn't be better. You'll soon have practical nitty-gritties to focus on for a while, giving the interpersonal stuff a chance to simmer down. But before you go, of course, throw the interested parties some long-lasting bone: a suggestive wink, a dangling proposition, a provocative glance to leave 'em wondering what's coming next. Make it good.


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You might be wondering what's been up with this 'softer, gentler side' of your sign (read: moodier, less chatty, more of a homebody) that's recently made itself known. But before you waste too much thought on it (and before I launch into a horoscope-length exposition on said pondering), let's just stop right there. Why bother with that? This weird funk is quickly turning into yesterday's news, Gemini, and that's why there's little reason to even focus more energy on it. You will surely face more relevant questions now that the astrological tides are turning. And whatever your most pressing question ends up being, the right answer to it is most certainly: Whatever makes you feel good. More fun is bursting in through every leak in the ceiling and slit in your skirt (feel it yet? it's starting off slowly), with increasing intensity next week and then the following. You definitely don't want to miss out on that do you? So, if, during this transitional week, you feel you need to, say, put a certain someone in his/her place, in order to keep yourself happy, don't waste another minute waiting. And if that someone is a certain guy or girl who's recently (or a long while ago) proven not to work so well as a love interest, then make special haste. Your love zone's heating up, and, if you're open to it, the next person (or some other adventure) should be right around the corner.


CANCER (June 21-July 22): It may certainly seem simpler to slink away and 'give everything time to rest', rather than 'make a big stink about it' (or so you might imagine it would be) by uncompromisingly voicing any continued disappointment or dissatisfaction with whatever somebody did or didn't do. (That is, after all, one of Cancer's parallels to the crab, who slyly and shyly sidesteps himself out of touchier situations to protect his sensitive innards.) But the difference between swallowing your discontent (so it stays inside your tummy, gurgling and churning amidst too many enzymes and acids) or calmly but firmly expressing it (with no expectation anything need be 'done' by the other person other than listening to you) is a huge one, Cancer. It makes all the difference between being able to enjoy your coming few weeks in relative peace-and-quiet… or repeatedly playing over this displeasure over and over in your head (even if to outside observers, you imagine it would all seem so petty or inconsequential), without the prideful sense of having stood up for yourself. You will be able to slink away, if you so choose. But vent your thoughts on the way out, holding your head high as you do it—a far more palatable option than quietly leaving town late one night in the pitch dark, like some common criminal, when you haven't done anything wrong.


LEO (July 23-August 22): The forthcoming advice applies only this week, Leo… and because I'm so sure that, by next week, you won't need to confront similar predicaments with the same such urgency, I'm going to be that much more insistent upon you listening closely now. No matter how appealing the proposal, you mustn't succumb to any pressures predicated on you overlooking (even just temporarily) those certain practical limits you know you must respect. The so-called 'fun' won't be all it's cracked up to be… at least from the hindsight perspective of potential regret, once you consider all you risked or gave up merely for a hot night, a quick buzz, or a fleeting thrill. 'Just this once'? 'Only for a moment'? 'Nobody will ever know'? 'What are you, chicken'? Don't listen to these or any parallel statements that give off the pungent odor of peer pressure. This is about you doing what's right for you. By the way, I found it so important to begin this horoscope with a clear expiration date ('only this week') so as to make it that much easier for you to obey. You don't have to be such a prude forever. Come next week, everything'll be coming up 3rd house, meaning more engaging conversations and entertaining errands and quirky chance social encounters than you've lately been able to enjoy. With that in mind, hold off on any 'screw it' sentiments for another few days.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): The past couple months have thrust you into so many more moments-of-truth and centers-of-the-action than you ordinarily confront in such a concentrated time span, Virgo—and you'll probably be happy to know that day-to-day life as you've recently known it should soon start to slow itself back down to a reasonable pace. I have no doubt that these few months' developments have left you in a noticeably changed landscape, a place where you haven't yet had a chance to integrate all the latest details in the standard meticulously choreographed series of your favorite rituals and routines. (Hell, you probably haven't even gotten to put things away yet!) Over the next few weeks, you'll help yourself out a lot with sorting, filing, cleaning and reorganizing… especially insofar as it puts you back in better command of your personal business, finances serving a key part of that. It's certainly not too early to think ahead to all that holiday spending you'll want to do, and to start planning for it now. You're finally getting large enough chunks of time to do crucial prep work… and we all know it's better to be prepared than end up lacking sufficient information, confused about how to proceed, and/or hurting for cash.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): After a couple months of confusion, limbo and/or little desire to bother trying too hard, you're finally ready to roll your sleeves up and put everything back together again. Thankfully, you should expect more clarity and concentration than you've had in a good long while. (Don't feel it yet? Don't worry, it's coming.) As part of this getting-back-to-business routine, Libra, you must first and foremost believe that you are now the one setting the agendas by which certain people, projects and experiences will (or will not) dominate your next several weeks. That means clearing the dance-floor of whatever pesky disturbances are outside this frame of reference you have specifically chosen for yourself… most likely squeaky-wheels and nagging-gnats of individuals who insist their drama become your drama or else exemplifying some similarly annoying self-absorbed behavior. Since you're due to become totally absorbed in your self now, you'll can't waste energy on that. So shut 'em up—or shut yourself away a very short spell, long enough so you can somehow manage to hit the 'reset' button and start yourself off with a clean slate sans energy-zappers. By next week, if you're still being swamped by other people's priorities and urgencies, you'll show you need to work harder on your own behalf. It's your fault if you passive-aggressively refuse to re-grab your own damn reins. I repeat: This is your 'reset' week.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): At this point, logic is no longer likely to serve you well. You said what you needed to say. You listened to their affirmations or accusations, explanations, indictments, defenses and what-not, and anything said now will probably strike you like a broken record (even if you've never heard these exact words before, but whatever). Your mind cannot make any further decisions for you (or, more precisely, hunt for loopholes to avoid making said decisions) by 'thinking things through'. Don't fret, though, Scorpio. Mental agility certainly isn't the only tool you've got. In fact, your feelings are obviously leading you a certain direction—rather clearly, if you want to know the truth—though your brain might not be able to explain quite why. Follow the trail your intuition is laying out for you, even if you can't see too far ahead of you nor clearly make out the writing on the signs. The trail may temporarily carry you away from familiar settings and the so-called 'friendly faces', whose unyielding interest in what you're doing (now that you come to think about it was maybe even rather intrusive, no matter how well-intended the sentiment) has actually been a bit of a hindrance. Naturally, you'll come around again at a later point, out from a more solitary wilderness back into more regular contact and connection. But first, don't you need a few moments to gather some perspective? Actually, don't answer that question. Just silently go with your gut.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): It's not really about 'the message' at all, but how you convey it. That's important to bear in mind this week, Sagittarius, when you have dual squares (by both Mercury and Venus) from your 10th to that pesky Pluto (back in your 1st for another few months)… a planetary picture that virtually guarantees whatever personal statements you put forth will be noticed and remembered, one way or the other. So if you want to put a dramatic spin on, say, a departure or an opposing viewpoint, you should have no problem doing so—let 'er rip, and stand back. Think of this as your one big chance to tell 'em every last thing that's been on your mind… knowing, of course, that once you get going, there's no going back (since, considering the decisive tone it'll carry, this just may be the very last thing you tell 'em). Of course, on the hopeful chance you don't have some ignited-and-ready-to-explode bomb to lob at them, you might choose a more conciliatory tone with which to make your memorable impact. Again, we're talking tone here, Sagittarius—this could simply be a case of restating the same stance you've had all along, but in a sweeter way. If you can't figure out exactly why you're being consistently misread (and apparently in need of restating the case), ask for a trusted outsider's honest opinion on where you're going wrong. (Hint: A little small-talk wouldn't hurt.)


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): In one of those beautiful instances of transcendent synchronicity, my first attempt at penning your scope for this week resulted in my accidentally looking at my notes wrong… and incorrectly using the current transits for another sign to conjure up my cosmic poem to you, dear Capricorn. Oops. But that little error immediately led to the following sentence popping into my head, which I'm firmly convinced is why I must've needed to err in the first place. Here it is: Don't let yourself be confused with somebody else. Along with that, I'll add that being overlooked by somebody else isn't an especially good idea either. Nor is letting somebody else overshadow you. You're entering a several-week period in which is pays (literally and figuratively) to be noticed. Not only noticed, but noticed for something that's totally in sync with what matters to you. (In other words, being noticed for being authentically you.) Therefore, you'll want to make sure your outer life is fairly well-aligned with your inner purpose, so nobody will get the wrong idea. So if you've been guilty of talking a good game for a while now—without putting the necessary actions behind it—this is your chance to resolve the misfit. Start by asking yourself, particularly with profession or public-role in mind): 'Do I believe in what I'm doing?' If you don't like your answer, you have some work cut out for you. Get going on it now.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): Over the past couple months, as the planets converged in your solar 8th, I gave you lots of encouragement to stick up for yourself (no matter how messy), to prolong complicated negotiations (even when it might've seemed simpler to let it go), and to generally remain entwined in emotional situations not naturally easy for you (especially knowing you probably could've 'won' the unfair way by simply freezing 'em out). Now, though, Aquarius, you're reaching the end of that line—and I'm sure you'll be pretty thankful about that, too, since too much heaviness can indeed begin to take a toll on one's sanity. Even when the sometimes-torturous process yields you a positive result, there's still only so much one can take. Gladly, I'm sure, you are ready to move on. Which, in your case, means either (1) finally crossing over onto The High Road, once you rightfully experience the feeling of having done everything you possibly could've, or (2) shooting off one conclusive bottom-line statement or request, knowing that, whatever the result may end up being, it will bring this chapter to a close. And if nothing's still lingering, well, you've probably done a pretty good job of working through to the cathartic peace. Bravo. But whatever the case: Enough is enough already. All these 'complications' have probably been feeling pretty claustrophobic…


PISCES (February 19-March 20): Don't take it too personally, if you discover yourself to be something of a magnet for scandal… although whether it's the 'good' or 'bad' kind of scandal depends on (1) how your last few months have been going, and whether you've left interpersonal dirty laundry strewn along the way, (2) how stable and boundaried you want your life to be, or whether you semi-consciously crave the topsy-turvies, and (3) what kind of energy you're putting out there, Pisces. In any case, I expect you to be attracting, for instance, more taboo discussion topics, displays of questionable ethics, forbidden flirtations and other behind-someone-else's-back maneuvers… without necessarily doing anything specific to elicit it. You can feel free to enjoy such excitements mainly as a spectator sport. Or maybe precariously dance around the outer edges, never getting too far in… or risk a slightly deeper entry. Of course, you could also wade all the way into it, choosing complicated intrigue over calmer ('but so boring!') safety. You will be hard-pressed to completely ignore all temptation, however. Whatever you do, be sure no innocent bystanders get caught in the crossfire—or you'll quickly go from being '"good" bad' to something far less ambiguous.