Horoscopes | Week of May 12-18, 2008

ARIES (March 21-April 19): With both your feet planted squarely on the ground, Aries, I see no reason why anything that happens this week should be permitted to upset you too much. Intuitive or not, I cannot guarantee nothing 'bad' (who's the judge again?) is due to occur. You may possibly lose a key account or a prime parking space, get turned down for a second date or miss the post-Mother's-Day sale at Sears. Or none such disappointments, great or small, will come to pass. In any event, you should be able to coast along at a lovely pace, whether or not you encounter bumps in the road or detours to who-knows-where. If you're clear on what really matters in your life (and for most of us, that boils down to a small handful of things), it'll be a whole lot easier not to freak out about the small stuff—or, for that matter, to let anybody else rile you up about it, just because they suffer from unsure footing. And please trust me: Barring any lasting negative impacts to that small handful of important items (and those only happen a few times in our entire life-spans), the rest is small potatoes. The more profoundly you feel that to be true, the more gloriously smooth your week promises to be. You're alive, after all. Ain't that divine?


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It wasn't so long ago (two weeks, in fact) when I was advocating the 'kindler, gentler approach'… which is never a bad way to go when Venus is in your sign, as she is until late next week. That's because she naturally tips the scales in your favor, as an innate side-effect to you confidently holding out your hand with the anticipation of receiving. But now that Venus (along with the Sun, also in your sign) is forming a plucky trine to courage-fueling Jupiter, you should feel free to step up the boldness with which you court the desirables. In other words, this isn't your week to back down, play bashful, or otherwise cower in fear or hesitancy. Instead, you're expected to call the shots, take brave leaps of self-assuredness, and unapologetically demand attention be directed your way. You can still start your interactions from the kindler-gentler position, assuming you'll have no problem getting your wishes granted and preferences respected. (Such presumptuousness, ordinarily not a safe bet, especially suits your week ahead.) Only if you should face resistance need your all-powerful refusal to accept no as an answer rear its formidable head. Only if someone should mistakenly believe this is their week to shine—at your expense—need you instruct 'em to kindly wait their turn. This week, after all, belongs to you.


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I've already alluded to a certain up-in-the-air-ness that's continued to linger, despite the fact that lots of unrelated happenings have (hopefully) given you plenty of other stuff to occupy yourself with. Still, something hangs over… and it's probably going to remain a mystery a bit longer. Only time can deliver the next development, since it has not yet been irreversibly set in stone. But I can tell you this much, Gemini: You mustn't be fooled by surface appearances. I suspect there's a whole lot more transpiring behind the scenes, which presently isn't being discussed. Yet, that doesn't necessarily imply shady dealings or secretive confessions. Nor should you presume the end result will be an unpleasant one, just because you're not getting answers right this moment. (Are we even sure we know the relevant questions?) Therefore, pressuring other people who you imagine hold the key to relieving this unsettledness is not the method to follow. As I said, the final outcome is not yet determined—and too pushy an attitude on your part just could swing the decision against you. What should you do, then? Wait out the limbo. Meanwhile, get back to occupying yourself with all that other stuff. And tune in again next week…


CANCER (June 21-July 22): In all matters of interpersonal intimacy (and that goes for financial and familial, as well as psychological and sexual), you're not likely to gain any new perspective on your relationship with that certain someone—at least as long as you limit your in-depth analytic conversations on the matter just to those the two of you have. Challenging as it may be for a private soul such as yourself to share the ins and outs of such a tender situation, you need the outside input of friends' opinions to help you solidly form one of your own. (And by 'your own', I mean one not heavily influenced by that certain someone's emotional pressures.) You might be startled to discover that your close chums share more in common with you in this area than you previously knew… and have some valuable experience in handling circumstances similar to yours, which you'd benefit from being told about. Of course, staying mum about what's happening with you is a virtual forfeit of such benefit, since they won't realize the perfect words you need to hear are already in their possession and therefore can't offer them. And all the while, you lose out—not only on some meaty food for thought, but on the opportunity to become tighter with pals who'd love a chance to help.


LEO (July 23-August 22): The same dull thing for hours on end just won't cut it these days, Leo, so let's be honest about that right up front. You're bound to go bonkers, should you be required to sit still and focus—and if you know now that's what's expected of you, be as forthright as possible about your limitations. See, there's nothing to be ashamed of… for, whatever you may presently lack in terms of unwavering single-minded absorption, you'll more than make up for with enthusiasm and spunk. As long as you're juggling multiple items at once and wondering how you're going to tackle everything that's on your plate, you can plan on wonderful success. This amped-up, stressed-out vibe is one in which you'll surely flourish. On the other hand, the moment you find you're no longer super-busy, you're liable to fall victim to the self-generating drama machine—that is, unconsciously hunting for tiny glitches to magnify into huge problems, if only to give yourself something to solve. Likewise, be aware that needy colleagues might try plugging into your energy grid (should they find an open outlet, unoccupied by matters of actual importance), only to pull you into their so-called 'emergency' so you may share their flustered frenzy. However, if you're multi-tasking appropriately, you won't have a spare hand (let alone a finger) to lend 'em. They'll just have to find somebody else to burden with their feeble worrying: You're in the middle of a million-and-one things.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Sshhhh! Quiet down that overactive mind which seeks to resolve every possible error before it's even occurred. The noise of all that protective reasoning, couched in the emotionless scorn of a quality-control engineer, is drowning out another voice that's struggling to be heard—the hopelessly hopeful, wonderfully wide-eyed optimist and cheerleader in you, who fearlessly understands that all the hard work you put in will undeniably pay off in the long run, should you keep the faith and keep on goin'. That's right, Virgo, beneath the rote recitation of things that could go wrong and failsafe methods for avoiding those very pitfalls awaits an audacious believer. This voice, alas, probably gets little airtime. (After all, how rational is it to believe?) But this is the week to give that stubbornly upbeat inspirer its fair shake—and steer clear of what's 'safe'. Whether we're talking 'totally impractical' career dreams or 'wild at heart' dating prospects, the zanier options are starting to look increasingly tempting, aren't they? So go for what gets you feeling all nervous inside, since that panicky terror is merely the flipside of a giddy excitement that'll inject all your waking hours with something to look forward to. These can't-be-tamed or can't-be-made-sense-of possibilities will force you to relish each present moment, rather than letting them pass you by as you stress about what could happen next. If you're having trouble making the leap-of-faith required, here's something to invest your belief in: You are resourceful enough to rescue yourself from any unforeseen fallout from taking the risk, so why not just do it?


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): You're likelier to find the meaningful connection (or the passionate kicks, as the case may be) if you forego atmospheres with too explicit an intent… and hang in a quieter setting, where the main feature is the two of you. The nightlife scene, for example, is teeming with so many wide-open possibilities, which is a good thing, if you're looking to satisfy a selfish need for social stimulation—yet not quite as ideal, if you actually want to share a special moment with someone. Not only will too heavily trafficked an environment force you to compete for his/her affections, but it also bears the potential to trigger your own jealousies or insecurities, should you spot a 'competitor' who pushes all those wrong buttons. However, go way off the beaten track or invite 'em over to your place, and you'll become the undisputed center of his/her undivided attentions. If the other person's suggested plans don't fit this mode of 'unassuming backdrop', you mustn't be shy about your lack of interest in what they're suggesting. Believe me, they'd much rather see you in comfortable surroundings than drag you out to the latest hottest spot, trying to connect with you while you grit your teeth and pretend not to hate every minute of it.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): I'm reminded of your previous horoscope, Scorpio, as soon as I begin my endorsement of the lighter, less intense angles of life… and your need to let those puffs of fluff hold your attention for the current time being. But last week, my rallying cry on behalf of social niceties was related largely to your professional zone, where a fair sprinkling of nicey-nice dust provided an ideal counterbalance to more overt shows of aspiration. Now, I'm extending the reach of this call across other areas, too—and especially into your romantic comminglings, where you'd do well by permitting your love-of-the-moment or wannabe-sweetheart to plan the week's social calendar for the both of you. Getting out together on their terms is not only a generous move on your part, however. It's also an excellent lesson in being okay with whatever… a voluntary lapse on your part of too-serious concern for the specifics of what's happening, in exchange for finding unexpected value in the little surprises that you're able to notice, once you give up such control. Even if your honey's friends bug the hell out of you, you can suck their company up for an evening or two. And who knows? You might actually have a good time… without having to expend a single bit of effort.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): If you know what's good for you, Sagittarius, you will spend the bulk of your efforts this week doing what's good for you… rather than, say, engaging yourself with flashy items placed on the agenda by casual acquaintances, loose allies, or anyone who's a proven master at distracting from the main point. Wherever you concentrate your energies is where you can expect the greatest eventual payoff. Makes sense, right? Well, it's even more so now, when you have a wonderful opportunity to boost your own future asset portfolio (whether strictly the financial version or a more holistic sense of practical security) by focusing primarily on those things with enduring value. But if you don't work smart, you'll easily waste your steam on stuff that just won't matter later… either because you let someone else hijack your attention ('it was easier than telling 'em to skiddadle!') or opted not to care about tomorrow (because today's cheap thrills were too, er, thrilling?). I guess nothing bad will happen, should you ignore my encouragement to put your own earthly welfare first—except, of course, the squandering of potential good fortune, which is more a shame than strictly 'bad'.


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): You're the little old man at the moment he finally musters a smile, after years of holding that grimaced expression, from the pure delight of watching a young child's playground adventures from the sidelines. You're the supposed 'cripple' who miraculously tosses away the crutch, once the courage to jump in the pool and strengthen his atrophied limbs with aqua-exercise overtakes the discouraging voices in his head. You're the blocked artist, so fed up with waiting for inspiration to overtake her that she runs headfirst toward a faraway landscape, only dreamt about but never pursued, knowing that something enchanted will be found there. You're the magical fool, daring to laugh in the face of convention, knowing all those debilitating anxieties we collectively suffer from are merely a product of our social conditioning, that force which seeks to keep us enslaved before the glowing screens rather than stubbornly thumbing our noses at the big ruse. You're oozing a larger-than-life spirit that can't (or, shall I say, shouldn't) be contained behind incessant continuations of perfectly appropriate behavior when, gosh darn it, you know you're sick and tired of that sick-and-tired routine. And yes, as all this is going on, people can't seem to peel their eyes away from what they're seeing in you. (No, there isn't food stuck between your teeth—it's your gumption that's drawn their attention.) Please, Capricorn, don't tone it down. Be that person proudly… and, fuck it, let 'em stare.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): You're definitely starting to feel the alluring pull of a week off from all the madness… and yet, that stubborn resistance of yours might just be strong enough to convince you to keep on going anyhow. But why push so hard, Aquarius? Are you trying to prove your willingness to proceed, as if possessing a robotic drive, until your gears sputter, spurt or slow to a grinding halt? Don't postpone that unavoidable relaxation break until after you crash and burn, at which time you'll barely be able to muster the life-force necessary to actually enjoy the recharge. Wait too long, and the periodic recovery phase will also become considerably longer… since, after all, should you deplete yourself beyond the normal amount, the exhaustion (physical and/or emotional) will kick into high gear and knock you way off your ass. (Compare the difference in inconvenience between (1) pulling off at a gas station to fuel up at -of-a-tank and (2) waiting until you hit empty, the car dies, and you have to carry a pesky metal can five miles on foot each way.) Take some time away before you hit the breaking point.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): Is someone on your 'team' going through a difficult period? Then you should know just what to do, Pisces: Help 'em get some distance from their trying times by providing a wonderful mood-altering distraction. Sure, they might falsely believe your surest show of friendship should consist of more laps around that track of recounted events, bombarded with 'he-said-she-said's and 'if-only's. But you and I are well aware this is the last thing they need. A few bouts of all-encompassing, full-body laughter will produce much more meaningful results. So rather than spend one more minute indulging a 'processing fest', steer the chat toward cheerier topics like what's on TV or how great the latest fashions would look on your distressed friend. The trickiest part, alas, is that this person would probably prefer to wallow in the mopey pool (whether conscious of this fact or not)… and won't necessarily take kindly to your attempts to change the subject. Yet, as I've said, it's just what they need. Therefore, as you take it upon yourself to lift a pal's saggy spirits, be sly about it. You can save 'em without announcing, as if to celebrate your kindness, 'Hey, listen up, I'm here to save you!'