ARIES (March 21-April 19): "Mom always liked you best." So are you the one who always blasts your siblings with this childish claim, or do they complain this way about you? Make peace with the inevitable inequalities that everyone faces growing up, and become your own favorite child. Fix yourself a glass of warm milk before bed, read yourself a story, and then tuck yourself in. Extra points if you can find a way to rub your own back until you fall asleep.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): That bus or train you ride everyday, the street you walk or drive down, do you know how far it goes or what happens at both dead-ends? Perhaps it's worth investigating, exploring, keeping your mind active in a new adventure instead of stuck staring into the corners of your boring old room, watching dust collect. Out in the fringes, posted to some pole or crumpled on the ground, there might be a random piece of information intended for you. Go out and find it, and then stare at that for a while instead.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "Dear Diary, Yesterday I found a shiny penny on the ground, only it wasn't a penny, it was some coin from some foreign country, so I almost just left it there, but then I remembered that this guy from work collects foreign currency, so I picked it up and put it in my pocket, and the next morning I almost forgot to bring it to work, but then I remembered it as I was walking out, so I ran back upstairs and grabbed it, and I brought it in and gave it to the guy, and he was so thrilled because it turned out to be this really rare coin, so he was so thankful, he bought me a burrito for lunch, which turned out to be perfect because, even though I remembered to go back and get the coin, I left my wallet at home. Mmm, carne asada, my favorite."
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Reward yourself for your grace and emotional fortitude, and for always being right. In typically un-Cancerian fashion, you should feel free to demand attention and credit. Consider it a form of selfless nurture, to allow those close to you to reconnect with the joys of giving by having them give to you (love, money, accolades, large expensive objects, whatever). If there's only one piece of chicken left, don't give it away or offer to divide it up into little pieces and share; just take it. Come on. It feels good to be grabby every once in a while, and don't worry, there's really no danger that someone like you will stick to such behavior.
LEO (July 23-August 22): There's this expression I've witnessed on the faces of certain senior citizens, well-seasoned Buddhists, and college dropouts whacked out on LSD. You know the look. It's a blank peace, somewhere between total blinding enlightenment and sheer sedated stupidity. Of course, it's the intrusive bystander, asking, "What is it that you're thinking about?" who is truly the stupid one. It is what it is. Isn't that enough? Now no sudden moves, just measured breathing.
VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Tune in for this week's episode, as we find the Wandering Virgo seated cross-legged on the rocky slopes of the Smoky Mountains with Ruby, learning her generations-old methods turning discarded kitchen towels and outmoded bell-bottom pants into patchwork quilts. And next week, we'll be in India with Sumita, spinning straw into gold, all part of our ongoing series, "Learning New Ways to Turn Things into Other Things". Stay tuned, you won't want to miss this.
LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Do you come home tired and drained? Are commitments, chores and obligations giving you the jitters? It's not that I'm unsympathetic, but what do you expect from your life? You're busy, important, responsible and desirable. That's enough to get anyone run down once in a while. Do me a favor and just try to imagine how it could be different, how you can still have it all without feeling like there's none left at the end. Make like a chipmunk and store little nuggets of energy in your cheeks for later consumption.
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Turning on a few minutes of some CNN political commentary show or a tele-evangelical tirade could prove strangely reassuring. See, you've already had their solutions to the latest dilemmas figured out now for quite some time. You just didn't have the words, or perhaps the time and energy, to spell it out for those less enlightened than yourself. But now, hearing them spoken by a well-paid, well-coiffed TV personality, you feel so wise, so intuitive, so deserving of your own 3-year contract.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): If your recent intensity is beginning to evoke a somewhat flat reaction from certain people, maybe it's time to take a couple steps back and be more receptive. You may enjoy talking about the beauty and depth of your latest epiphanies, but the silent responses you've been getting could mean more than you think. They're just waiting for you to be quietly attentive long enough to hear their surprising revelations, which have little to do with what you've been going on about.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): It's time to host a party, but there's no need to get your hair done or stock up on vodka and pretzels. Just clean up a room, sit in your happiest silence, and conjure up a guest list from your favorite ghosts, imaginary friends, and personifications of residual energy. As the social center, you will need to facilitate conversation, all the while basking in the otherworldly glow that's filling your parlor. You will have a grand old time, so long as your remember that spirits aren't always the most honest poker players.
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): You can't be in charge of the organized efforts forever. True, you've made a great leader. You have the right ideals, a perfect sense of fairness, and a brain that can hardly contain all the marvels of your magic. But you will get burnt out one day. And your comrades get lazy when you do everything for them. Sometimes, the best thing about knowing the correct answer to the question is watching someone else respond, get it right, and receive some kudos. Can you, for once, refrain from raising your hand?
PISCES (February 19-March 20): That weird rumble in your tummy may not necessarily be indigestion from last night's dinner. It's possible that the mysterious pain in your hand or your elbow, the one that comes and goes, is not a gym injury you didn't remember happening. Do these strange physical sensations flare up in particular circumstances, around certain people, or while you indulge in certain thoughts? Pay a little more attention, and you could miraculously decipher coded messages courtesy of your body.